What makes a good parent?

Is it a wedding band? (I guess not, since plenty of single parents give birth or adopt, and do a fine job of raising children.)

Is it a nice house or a certain level of income? (I have a great job, and actually make more money than my son’s adoptive mom. But she is married, so their family income is higher. Does it even make a difference either way? How much is enough when it comes to material well-being?)

Is it being prepared for parenthood? (Maybe, maybe not. Plenty of married couples get pregnant unexpectedly, and plenty of parents say they weren’t exactly "ready" when they became pregnant. It’s all in how you adjust to the idea of parenthood once it arrives.)

I’d argue that a deserving parent is someone who loves their child and has the desire and intent to take care of that baby at least until he or she reaches adulthood (preferably for a lifetime).

It’s easy to look at the profiles of hopeful adoptive couples, see their qualifications, and start viewing yourself as "less perfect" than they are. But as long as you can provide the basics of food, shelter and health care; are committed to giving parenting your all; and know that you will not harm your child in any way, you do have what it takes to parent. Whether you ultimately do so or not is up to you--but please don’t fall into the trap of seeing every waiting couple as better than you. When you play the comparison game, you will inevitably come up short against someone else.

Every home and every family has plusses and minuses, benefits and drawbacks. Adoption should not be about getting your child into the "best" possible home, because there will always be someone or some home that could be deemed superior. Instead, the surrender decision needs to be about determining whether you are willing and able to raise your child. Avoid the urge to compare and contrast yourself to the "ideal" family (after all, who really knows what that is?). Focus instead on whether you can rise to the occasion of parenthood.