We all know about postpartum depression, but what about depression during pregnancy? In an article entitled "Not Always the Happiest Time," this week's edition of Newsweek magazine (April 24, 2006) addresses the issue of depression among expectant mothers.

According to the article, doctors say that the incidence of depression is the same among pregnant women as it is in the general population (about 20 percent). However, depression during pregnancy is usually viewed with more disapproval than at other times, since for mothers-to-be, there is a strong societal pressure to always appear radiant and happy.

People generally prefer pregnant women to be overwhelmingly positive about their circumstances, or at least to maintain the illusion of bliss. But not everyone can. (I’m not talking here about simply feeling low, but about needing help in order to cope…and possibly medication.)

As someone who’s suffered from depression my whole life, I know the symptoms well. And I can tell you that they definitely worsen during crisis pregnancy, since the stress, the anxiety (and yes, sometimes the hormones) all act as triggers to worsen any pre-existing conditions. Even if you’ve never known depression before, it is quite likely that you will at some point during an unsupported pregnancy.

Sometime during my experience, a respected therapist told me that even those women who have planned and longed for their babies can wind up feeling quite ambivalent about their pregnancy and impending motherhood. I can still remember the sense of relief I felt to hear this. With her words, I felt permission to have conflicting emotions, not all of them positive. Since that time, I’ve done a lot of additional study, and I now know that this is actually not uncommon for a pregnant woman…even if she definitely plans to keep and raise the child. Add in surrender and adoption, and you have just complicated the situation exponentially.

It isn’t easy to be a woman, especially not when you’re facing a decision that is sure to deeply affect both your life and that of your child. It is normal to feel sad and angry, but if you are feeling dark or depressed, please, get extra help. (Even without any symptoms of depression, I hope you are still receiving counseling during your crisis pregnancy.)