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An article published recently lets us know that most of our eggs are used up by the time we hit 30. What does that mean? It means that if you wait to try and conceive until after that age, or later, you may have difficulty, need intervention or be unsuccessful. Of course, if you’re reading this blog and under the age of 30, you’re likely thinking, “Well, this article doesn’t apply to me now and certainly won’t matter in my life.”
Not so fast and not so true.
In working with the agency through which I placed, I was told, time and time again, that I could go on to have babies later in life, when the time was right. What no one said to me at that point (not even my doctors) was that my kidney disorder limited the time that I had to carry children to term. No one told me about my biological clock either. I had no idea that it would be significantly more difficult to conceive after the age of 30.
Society, as a whole, pushes women to wait to have babies. We are told to start our careers, become financially stable on our own, locate an appropriate mate, get engaged after a lengthy dating period, get married after an appropriate time of being engaged and then wait a few years to have children. When a woman is younger, even just out of college as I was, she is judged harshly for doing things out of order. Some of that has to do with the lack of marriage but even some women who marry young and subsequently have children at an earlier age are looked at with judgmental eyes. They are seen as less than both on the mommy field and the work field. Yet, when it comes to science, biology is favoring the younger mother.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not telling teenagers to run out and get pregnant. (In fact, teens are at risk for pregnancy complications.) I’m not telling college students to drop out and start having babies. I’m not even telling young professional women to abandon their hopes and dreams of a rewarding career. I am sharing this information here so that younger mothers who are already pregnant and making decisions regarding their future might have a bit of the bigger picture. Yes, you can place your baby for adoption now. Yes, you can parent now. Yes, you can go on to have other children later, whether you parent or place. But don’t let a doctor, an agency, an attorney or your own family drive it into your head that you have to wait for the perfect time to have a baby. Ask any parent out there: the perfect time doesn’t exist.
I’m not trying to scare you into keeping your baby out of fear that you may never have another. I just want you to be aware that one easily acquired pregnancy doesn’t mean you will always have an easy time getting pregnant. Keeping the future in mind as you make your decisions is just as important as keeping your present situation in mind. What you choose now will affect your life forever, no matter the path that you take. Try and keep that in mind as you move forward in your plans.
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