So you have decided to make an adoption plan and have been matched with potential adoptive parents. You may only have a few weeks left in your pregnancy or you may have a few more months. Should you continue to communicate pre-birth with the potential parents of your child?

This is something that is totally up to you and what you feel comfortable with. It may make you feel more secure in your decision to spend time getting to know the adoptive parents during the last few months of your pregnancy. You can communicate with them on the phone, exchange emails. Possibly meet them occasionally, and just get to know them better in general. This may make you feel more secure that they are the right people to raise your child. And on the flip side, you may discover they are not the type of people you want raising your child and it’s better to find that out now than after papers are signed and it’s too late.

You may not wish to have very much contact with the prospective adoptive parents during the pregnancy. And that’s ok. Do not let anyone pressure you into contact than you feel comfortable with. If you’d rather just enjoy the end of your pregnancy without the stress of constant communication pre-birth then so be it. It’s your right to do whichever you feel comfortable with.

For me personally, I enjoyed spending time with Charlie’s adoptive parents before his birth. It was a time for us to get to know each other as individuals. We did dinners, talked on the phone a lot, and just got to know each other. My son, Noah, and their daughter, Natalie, played together and got to know each other too. Looking back, I’m glad that we had that time to spend together and get to know one another. It's made things a little easier now knowing them as well as I do.