My co-blogger Heather just wrote two great posts about seeing adoption through rose colored glasses. It is funny that she wrote these today as just last night I was just discussing with a friend my thoughts and feelings on adoption and how much they have changed in the past five years.
When I first became a birthmother, I was in the euphoric stages that Heather describes in her post. I felt awesome that I helped a family have a child and focused much more on what I did than what I was loosing. I was in big time denial. I felt for certain that I’d done the best thing and told myself over and over, just as other people told me, that I did what was best.
I would have recommended adoption to just about any one in a similar position to me at that point. I thought all teens should place their babies and not try parenting. I bought into the tactic that all children should have two parent homes.
Boy was I naïve!
Time in the adoption world, talking with others, dealing with my own adoption related grief and pain, growing up, and just life itself has changed my feelings a lot.
I know that teens can be good Moms! I’ve watched my nephew and his girl friend become kind and loving parents to their baby. Sure they make mistakes and are not perfect parents, but what parents are?? I’ve watched single mom friends scrimp and save to put food on the table for their child(ren). Sure they may struggle, but their children are very loved.
I know think adoption is not an easy solution. It is one that requires a lot of thought and should not be based solely on your age, martial status, education, etc.
Some of the women who think they will not be good mothers end up being the best and most loving mothers I have ever seen!
And I’m sure in ten years my views on adoption will be more different than they are now.