October 21st, 2006
Posted By: Coley S.
Categories: Issues that Arise

We all change and experience change in our lives, whether it be the weather, an aspect of our personality, a liking to a certain food, or more major things like marital status, moving to a new location, having more children, etc.

It’s important to remember when making an adoption plan that the circumstances and situations on which you based your reasoning for making an adoption plan in the first place are subject to change.

For example, you think it is necessary for your baby to grow up in a two parent home and that is one of the big reasons contributing to your decision to make an adoption plan. Later on in the future, the adoptive couple you have placed your child with could split ways and divorce, so your child is no longer living in a two parent home.

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Perhaps, your financial situation was a large reason in making an adoption plan. The adoptive couple you place your child with could be terminated from their job or you could get a raise and become more financially secure later on down the road.

Maybe you wanted to see your child a lot so you choose a family that lives near by. You or the family could end up having to move and then it becomes harder to visit your child as often as you’d like.

Then there is the point Heather and I mention a lot to make sure you are completely aware of, your open adoption could be closed.

A few of the adoptive parents of several birthmom friends’ children have become divorced and it’s always very upsetting and hard for them (my birthmom friends) to deal with. I think it’s something we kind of forget to think about when planning our child’s future.

The point is, we don’t know what the future will hold, for ourselves, for our child, for the world, even. We don’t have crystal balls that allow us to see into the future. (Or at least I don’t think we do! And if someone does, they’d better share!) The future is a mystery and unknown. You just have to try and make the best decision for yourself at this time in your life, but also remember to keep in mind that people and circumstances may change.

One Response to “Changing Circumstances”

  1. lahdh4 says:

    I tend to look at like this. They are people. Yes we would like them to be someone else where nothing bad will happen but that isn’t how life works.

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