Many birthmothers look back on their pregnancies and wish they’d done more to celebrate their motherhood as they carried their child. Crisis pregnancies are nothing if not stressful, but you should still try to enjoy the nine months you have.

Because our culture doesn’t do a great job of valuing life, an unplanned pregnancy can feel like a "mistake." Shame and fear can pile up, and unsupportive friends, family or partners can cause you to ignore or downplay your pregnancy.

If you take a longer-term view, however, you will soon begin to realize that in the big picture of your life, these nine months will eventually turn into something you’ll look back on with pride. (Creating and safely delivering new life is a major accomplishment, whether you planned to do it or not!) That’s why I recommend that you try to do some of the same anticipatory things women do in planned pregancies. For example:

• Take plenty of pictures of you as an expectant mother. You and your child will want those someday, even if you don’t want them now. (One of my biggest regrets is not getting more pictures of myself while pregnant. The few I have, I treasure more than anything.)

• Consider making a hope chest for your child, or writing a letter or journal entries. Again, he or she will appreciate the history you preserve for them now.

• Keep your mementos from the hospital, such as the crib card, baby blanket, etc. Saving these items is especially important if this is your first pregnancy. You only have one first child in your life, so if this is your first pregnancy, claim it as such!

• Have a party with close friends to celebrate your successfully navigating the struggles of a crisis pregnancy. It’s an incredible amount of pressure, and you are most likely handling it with grace and dignity.

In short, think about this time from your baby's point of view. We all want to be loved, wanted and enjoyed while growing. Try your best to make your pregnancy a happy time for your baby!