6. Did you choose your child's adoptive parents and how did you choose them?
Yes, we chose them. We looked at about 15 profiles of different couples, but I had a REALLY hard time choosing somebody from a piece of paper. I was in complete turmoil about the whole decision and thought we should just parent. Well, my son was in a "special baby" program through the adoption agency - they place the infant with a family so the mother has time to think about what to do. The family that he was with was WONDERFUL and his birth dad and I fell in love with them all. Well, the foster mom called me up on night and asked if we would consider them for adopting our son. My boyfriend and I both started crying. She and her family were exactly the people that we had been looking for. The neatest part was that the mom and I had already developed a close relationship. She was one person that I had cried my heart out to every day and she knew what turmoil I was in over this decision. It has been neat seeing that relationship change and grow since we placed him with them.

7. What type of adoption did you choose and why? Originally it was open with visits 2 times per year, but has evolved into open with us seeing him every month. The birth dad and I always wanted our son to know about us. We wanted to let him know that we love him and we wanted to see him grow. We are honest people and wanted all of this to be told to him from the VERY beginning. We also wanted to honor him on his birthday and Christmas which are 2 very important dates to us.

8. How do you feel about adoption now? I feel like adoption was the only option for me. I didn't know how difficult it would be to sign the paperwork and finalize the adoption, but I also didn't know how special the relationship between my son's mom and I would be. It has been an amazing and devastating experience all at the same time, but ultimately I support adoption when necessary and think it is mothers giving their children what they need and making the ultimate motherly sacrifice for their child. It is a very unselfish thing that we as birthmoms did, not a selfish act as some might think.

9. Anything else to add? I would give advice to anybody out there that is trying to keep their relationship with their baby's birthdad that you must be honest about everything. You have to open up your soul and be 100% honest with the other people involved. It is not easy, but if you aren't completely honest and open, you will make a decision that will cause regrets in the future. For women that are considering placing: Ask for what you need. You hold the power to your child. Be very careful in choosing the adoptive parents. They are the ones that will have your child and you want to make sure they are honest with you and keep the communication open. Tell them what you need. If they are hesitant about the amount of contact you want, they aren't the right ones for you.

10. How is your life now? It has only been 6 months since I placed, but life is going pretty well. The birth dad is in the process of making a good deal at work and I'm going to be starting school soon. I'm still working as a kitchen designer and the birthdad is a webmaster. We aren't married, but....who knows. More kids are probably in the future, but we want to make sure that we are ready for the next one.

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