This week’s featured birthmom is Amanda B.
At age 21, Amanda became unexpectedly pregnant. She did consider parenting but eventually decided that making an adoption plan would be the best thing for her child as she had just lost her job, health insurance, and her baby’s father had just moved over nine hundred miles away. Amanda describes her life as being very chaotic before and during the time she found out she was pregnant.
I was way too entirely overwhelmed. Beginning an adoption plan was the first pillar of stability that I found in my chaos.
Her son’s birth father was not involved at all so Amanda made all the decisions regarding adoption on her own. Flipping through profile booklets of couples hoping to adopt, something in C and R’s profile caught Amanda’s eye. She called the attorney that same day and then that night she talked to C and R on the phone. She decided they would be good parents for her son. Amanda chose her son’s adoptive parents early in her pregnancy, giving her a lot of time to get to know them before her son was born. Although they lived clear across the country from one another, they exchanged emails, chatted on the phone, etc.
Amanda chose a semi open adoption because she didn’t really feel comfortable with the idea of visits and the distance between her and the adoptive family would make visiting a little difficult. At this point, Amanda is content with emails, letters, phone calls, and of course pictures.
Amanda describes her Mom as being her biggest support person during her pregnancy and adoption plan.
Amanda now resides in Illinois where she is a full time college student studying to be a special education teacher. She also works with developmentally disabled population. Amanda is engaged and planning a spring wedding.
In conclusion, I asked Amanda if she had advice to share with expecting moms who are considering adoption.
Demand respect, ask for what you need, work until you give birth, talk to the experienced, be leery of people who buy you things, eat everything with extra cheese, educate yourself, take a proactive role in your adoption placement, and remember that your choices last a lifetime. What you don’t say now, you can’t always say later.
Thank you Amanda for taking the time to answer these questions and share our story with us!