Recently, I reviewed Mirah Riben’s new book, The Stork Market: America’s Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry. Because this book contains some important information for those considering surrender, and because this book is currently being talked about on adoption.com, I decided to interview Riben to learn more about her views. In addition to The Stork Market, Riben is also author of shedding light on…the Dark Side of Adoption (1988). She has formerly served as a Director-at-Large of the American Adoption Conference and is the mother of four. Her first child, lost to adoption, is now deceased.

The interview will run in several installments.

Q: In reviewing your book, I understand that I may have inaccurately characterized your position on replacing adoption with permanent legal guardianship. Can you clarify?

A: Your review implied that I advocated impermanent care, and that this was my sole proposal for reforming adoption, rather than one among many. However, the form of guardianship I advocate (and which I presented as one possible solution) is permanent legal guardianship (PLG), an important distinction, not to be confused with the impermanence of foster care. [Noted adoption reformers] Annette Baran, Reuben Pannor, Jean Paton and others have used the terms “simple adoption” or “guardianship adoption.” Regardless of what it is called, both PLG and truly open adoption are similar in practical terms for the child, as birth family contact is maintained as much as possible. The difference is that legal ties are severed in open adoption, and contact agreements are thus difficult to make enforceable. With original birth records sealed, if the openness ceases or fails early on, the child can easily lose the ability to reopen it when older.

Q: What drove you to write this book?

A: I have been an activist for adoption reform since the 1970s, when I discovered that adoptees and mothers who relinquished were searching for and finding one another. I learned that many adoptees were not afforded a “better” life through adoption, as had been promised to those who relinquished. Some adoptees were mistreated, and many struggled with feelings of abandonment and rejection, while mothers who were told they’d forget did not.

Q: This blog is written for those who are considering surrendering their children. What advice do you have for women in this situation?

A: First, read books by mothers and adoptees, and talk to those who have “been there/done that” via online chat groups and forums. Get a feeling of what life is like immediately after relinquishment, as well as 20, 30 years on. Speak to those in open adoptions and those who have re-opened adoptions through reunion. Hear, too, how adoptees feel about having been adopted at different life stages. Next, learn all you can about the current adoption laws in the state in which you’re considering relinquishing. As you think about this, keep in mind that while age and marital status are temporary; relinquishment is forever. Also keep in mind that adoption cannot guarantee a better life for your child—only a different life.

Editor’s note: Riben’s book devotes half of a chapter to this topic, and women considering surrender should definitely read this valuable information.