In many states, expectant mothers making adoption plans can receive assistance with living expenses either through the adoption agency (which is usually paid for by the prospective adoptive parents anyways) they are working with or from the prospective adoptive parents they have chosen.

I understand that living expenses are often needed by expectant mothers considering adoption. In fact, I needed them myself for a short time. Once I began having pregnancy complications and was put on bed rest, I could no longer work. Charlie’s adoptive parents were able to give me expenses each month (legally through our adoption attorney) which helped me not to lose my apartment, pay my other bills, and be able to eat. I didn’t like having to ask for them, but it was necessary.

Although at times it is necessary, it can often be a catch 22. Receiving living expenses can sometimes make an expectant mother feel obligated to place her baby even if she begins to change her mind. I know that I would have had a hard time changing my mind for that simple reason. Had I changed my mind, I would have felt morally obligated to re-pay them even though it is not required leally in my state.

In other circumstances, expectant mothers may have lost their housing if they had been kicked out of their parents home once they announced their pregnancy or had to leave where they were staying because of pregnancy. So instead of only needing living expenses to get by, these women are in need of everything housing wise. This is where adoption agencies are coming into play. They are enticing expectant mothers with luxury housing. I don’t have a problem with them offering housing, but it’s the way they are going about it.

For example, I stumbled across an agency that offers housing to the expectant mothers working with them. The description (and photos) make this place sound and look like a palace!

For pregnant women needing living assistance, this agency offers independent living accommodations. These accommodations include all the comforts of home like a beautiful spacious living area, swimming pool as well as full access to a state-of-the-art exercise facility.

These facilities help avoid conflict which may arise with your family and friends about your decision. You deserve the comfort and security of knowing that you can live through your pregnancy and recovery in a peaceful haven.

I’m just insulted! Dangling a swimming pool and an exercise facility in front of an expectant mother experiencing unplanned pregnancy who may feel very desperate and alone! That description on the very first page an expectant mother who visits their site will see. I see that as an unethical means to entice and coerce expectant mothers into placing.

I know you are probably thinking, “But it’s her choice, if she lives there then she knows that she will be expected to place her baby.” That thought went through my mind too, but then I thought about it more and if you are alone and desperately looking for housing, then you might agree to live there without thinking your decision through completely.


However, the truth of the matter is, choosing to relinquish your baby for adoption is a decision that requires a lot of thought and soul searching and an expectant mother may not be one hundred percent sure by the time she moves into agency housing or as she begins to think more, she may change her mind. And then what?

Unfortunately, there’s not really a clear cut answer to what an expectant mother considering adoption should do should she need living expenses or housing, but it’s definitely something I am going to start giving some thought to.

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