Taking Care of Yourself While Sorting through Your Options

November 14th, 2011

963185_pregnancyTaking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do, especially if you're pregnant--whether it's a planned or unplanned pregnancy. However, this may be difficult to do while you're sorting through your unplanned pregnancy options. The process of sorting through your options can be long, tedious, and sometimes overwhelming, as you have many facts to consider, but taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally is a crucial part of making an informed decision. And an informed decision is the best decision you could ever make. Mentally: During this important period of decision-making, your mind can seem to get in the way sometimes. And because of this, it's important to take some mental breaks throughout the process. When you… [more]

Crisis Vs Pregnancy

March 10th, 2011

1153643_abstract_storm_2 In my previous post, I began talking about the difference between an unplanned pregnancy and a crisis. I want to share my experiences and demonstrate the difference between a pregnancy and a crisis, so others won't make my same mistakes. My experience of going into the hospital with premature labor took away all of my control around my pregnancy and birth. If I could change anything, I would have found a midwife and had a homebirth. When the doctor transferred me into her care, I asked for help with my baby. She stated adoption as the solution because I was unmarried and not Catholic. She gave me several profiles of families to look through that went to her church. The day after… [more]

Sorting through Your Unplanned Pregnancy

October 27th, 2009

1228123_pregnancyIf you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, it can be scary and sometimes unsettling. For some, it is a place full of confusion. But, it doesn’t have to be. It can be a time of self-understanding, self-acceptance, and introspection. It is a time to delve into and analyze how you see your life a few months and then a few years down the road. In order to fully comprehend and make an informed decision, here are some things you can do: Take Time for Yourself: First things first. Take time to think and to feel. Find an empty, quiet place to do this. Take as much time as you need. The first step is to accept that you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. Once… [more]

So Why Should You Place Your Baby for Adoption?

May 31st, 2009

I just told you not to let the economy scare you into relinquishing your child for adoption. But the question remains: should you place your baby for adoption? What reasons are good reasons to make such a decision? What are "bad" or not-so-good reasons to do such a thing? Some people, especially those that regret their decision to relinquish, say that "adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Your biggest task right now is to separate which of your problems are temporary and which are ongoing or unlikely to change in the near or distant future. I’ll give a few examples below. Not-so-great reasons for choosing adoption:

  1. You don’t have much money. Assistance is available and financial situations can turn around quickly. (As an

Permanent Solution to Temporary Circumstances

July 24th, 2007

“She won’t always be 16, but she will always be Austin’s mother.” I was half paying attention to an old Judging Amy re-run on television the other day, when I heard one of the characters, Maxine (who is a social worker) say the above quote. I really hadn’t been paying too much attention to the show but the quote caught my attention. The quote was said by Maxine to the judge on the behalf of a young mother who I can only assume was on the verge of having her parental rights terminated by the court. That quote just jumped out at me and got stuck in my head. It made a lot of sense to me and it can apply… [more]

Educating Yourself about Adoption

June 25th, 2007

As an expectant mother considering adoption, it is so important that you do your research and educate yourself about your options. If you are like most people in the general public (meaning not in the adoption community) you probably know very little about adoption. I didn’t know very much about adoption at all when I was pregnant and making an adoption plan. I tried to educate myself but lack of internet access in the home during the pregnancy and not knowing of many resources made it difficult. I kind of just learned as I went along the process and A. (Charlie’s adoptive mom) was my teacher. She was the one who told me things like I had a right to name my child… [more]

Two Parent Families

May 30th, 2007

Having both a Mom and a Dad seems pretty important in a child’s life, doesn’t it? I thought so and still think so. But should it be a sole reason for placing a child for adoption? I don’t think so. It was a large part of my reasoning in placing Charlie. I had split from Noah’s dad and already felt guilty enough knowing one child was going to be raised in a "broken home." I began to think that I really might not have been capable of parenting two children alone. Today, almost six years later, I know I would have been capable. But for me personally, what’s done is done. I can’t undo the past, can only help others learn in… [more]

Meeting Hopeful Adoptive Parents

April 29th, 2007

You have asked the questions and narrowed it down to one or two families and now you want to meet them in person. You are probably feeling very nervous! Don’t worry its normal! And keep in mind, that the prospective adoptive parents are probably just as nervous as you are! This is uncharted territory for all of you and there are so many emotions involved so nerves are expected and normal. If you are working with an adoption agency or through an adoption professional, typically they will mediate this initial meeting. This is good because they can help you ask your questions and fill any awkward, nervous silences that may occur. Your meeting will probably occur at the office of the agency or adoption professional. If you are going the… [more]

Choosing a Family

April 28th, 2007

In today’s era of adoptions expectant mothers making adoption plans are able to choose the adoptive parents that they would like to raise their baby. This hasn’t always been possible. Older birthmothers were not given the option of choosing the adoptive parents. Choosing a family can be overwhelming and confusing at times. Before you begin the process of choosing a family for your baby it is helpful to think about what type of characteristics you would like the family to have. Do you want one of them to be a stay at home parent? Do you want the family to already have a child or none at all? Do you want them to be a certain religion? All of these are characteristics you can… [more]

Labor Support Person

April 4th, 2007

Ask anyone who has given birth before and I am sure that they will tell you that labor is not fun or easy! As much as you may not want to admit it, you need and depend on the support of others during labor. Of course, you will have doctors and nurses around, but you need people who know and love you there with you as well. As you begin to think about your upcoming labor and delivery, have you thought about who you’d like there with you? Who would make a good support person? Of course, you have doctors and nurses available when needed while in the hospital, but having someone who knows you, someone whose main purpose in being there… [more]