The Health Care Bill & Teen Pregnancy

March 22nd, 2010

As you know, the new Health Care Bill passed last night. Twitter, Facebook and the blogosphere exploded with emotion, good and bad. Words were slung back and forth and feelings were hurt. Now that everyone has had a night to sleep on it, my mind wandered to my readers here at the unplanned pregnancy blog. How does this affect you? How does this affect your child yet to be born? It's hard to tell. Those opposed to the bill are already screaming for an appeal. It's also hard to tell how quickly these things will be put into play (though some sections call for 180 days after being passed) and whether they will see the light of day while you are pregnant and making decisions. As an example, if… [more]

Considering Marriage

March 23rd, 2009
Categories: Issues/debate

With the news of Bristol's failed engagement hanging in the air, I've seen quite a few people discuss whether or not those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy should even consider getting married. In fact, someone went so far as to say that those experiencing an unplanned pregnancy should never consider marriage. I'm not a fan of absolutes so I decided to explore the topic. Quite honestly, I'm not a fan of either absolute. I neither believe that all those experiencing unplanned pregnancies should immediately wed nor do I believe that if they do plan to marry, they will fail. I believe there is a middle ground to be found and a healthy one at that. What are some things to consider before slipping a ring on your finger (baby… [more]


July 24th, 2008
Categories: Articles, Issues/debate

Not too long ago, I came across an article about a proposed bill in Missouri. This new bill makes it illegal for a pregnant woman to be coerced into having an abortion. Per the new bill coercion could be “physical harm, or a threat to evict, fire from a job, or withhold financial assistance. While I think this is great – no one should be forced into doing something she isn’t comfortable with – I couldn’t help but think why aren’t they debating a bill that makes coercing a woman into adoption illegal too? I wonder if these state officials are even aware of how much coercion still goes on in adoption nowadays. I think many people think that coercion is no longer happening; that it… [more]

Safe Haven Laws in All 50 States Now

March 27th, 2008

Recently Nebraska and Alaska both passed baby Safe Haven Laws. They were the 49th and 50th states to pass these laws. Now all of the United States has some type of baby Safe Haven Laws. The only area in the United States without Safe Haven laws is the District of Columbia. In case you are unfamiliar with exactly what baby Safe Haven Laws are, let me explain. According to Wikipedia, Safe Haven Laws are defined as: The popular name for United States' laws that decriminalize leaving unharmed infants with statutorily designated private persons so that the child becomes a ward of the state. In a nutshell, Safe Haven Laws allow a mother to leave her baby in a designated “safe haven” such as a fire department, police station… [more]

It’s not your Job to Make Others Happy

February 27th, 2008

In my last post, I ranted about an adoption agency website that boasted their luxury living quarters complete with a swimming pool and twenty four hour state of the art exercise facility for expectant mothers making adoption plans. On that same agency website was a page that listed the “possible benefits of adoption for birthmothers.” Some of them were basic “benefits” that I’d read before like the ability to continue your educate without juggling a child and school. But one particular so called benefit really bugged me. The opportunity to bring many people a lot of happiness that would not occur without you. Yes, making an adoption plan is going to make other people happy. The parents who adopt the baby as well as their extended family… [more]

Agency Provided Housing during Pregnancy

February 24th, 2008
Categories: Issues/debate

In many states, expectant mothers making adoption plans can receive assistance with living expenses either through the adoption agency (which is usually paid for by the prospective adoptive parents anyways) they are working with or from the prospective adoptive parents they have chosen. I understand that living expenses are often needed by expectant mothers considering adoption. In fact, I needed them myself for a short time. Once I began having pregnancy complications and was put on bed rest, I could no longer work. Charlie’s adoptive parents were able to give me expenses each month (legally through our adoption attorney) which helped me not to lose my apartment, pay my other bills, and be able to eat. I didn’t like having to ask for them, but it… [more]

My beliefs

June 29th, 2007
Categories: Issues/debate

I think it must not be clear, so let me shout. I AM NOT AGAINST ADOPTION. I DO NOT THINK IT IS A BAD THING. I DO NOT SEEK TO END THE PRACTICE. I AM VERY AWARE THAT PEOPLE FROM ALL CORNERS OF THE TRIAD HAVE BEEN WELL-SERVED BY ADOPTION. (Everyone hear that? Good, because I'm a quiet person by nature, and I don't like to yell.) Why do I feel the need to clarify? Because it seems that anyone who brings up the negatives in adoption is seen as a troublemaker who wants to bring the entire house crashing down. My goal in speaking publicly about this topic has always been more along the lines of calling for “major renovations.” I’m… [more]

Baby’s Death Revives the Debate of Safe Haven Laws

June 8th, 2007

Last week, I shared a newspaper article out of North Carolina with you about the possibility of North Carolina teaching safe haven laws in the schools to students so that they could be aware that safely abandoning a baby is legal in that state. But a story coming out of Iowa has raised the issue of safe haven laws once again. Ashley Tritt, an 18 year old from Solon Iowa, was vacationing with her parents, brother, and boyfriend in Florida. She hid her pregnancy from her parents and boyfriend and then gave birth alone, in the bathroom. She was arrested on Monday in Florida after staff at a beach resort found her baby girl dead in a trash can on Saturday morning. She’s… [more]

Are you a Birthmother?

June 1st, 2007

As an expectant mother considering adoption you may be reading letters addressed “dear birthmother,” looking at areas on agency websites that say “for birthmothers,” and hear the word birthmother used in regards to you. I imagine it might all be a little confusing to you. Are you a birthmother? No, not yet! And you may not become one at all if you do not follow through with an adoption plan. Technically, you do not become a birthmother until you sign the relinquishment papers terminating your parental rights. Until that moment, you are simply a good mother or a good expectant mother considering the adoption option for her child. Some people may think that insisting on not calling an expectant mother considering adoption a… [more]

Poorly-completed home studies

May 18th, 2007
Categories: Issues/debate

So I’m reading the sad tale of Viktor Matthey, a little boy from Russia who was dealt two entirely lousy sets of parents, both birth and adoptive. His original parents were neglectful alcoholics, and his adoptive parents abused and murdered him. Everybody failed him. It’s already a horrible story on its own, but it was made worse when I came to this passage about the adoptive family’s home study. The Mattheys were people of modest means—that is, until they decided to adopt:The Mattheys' financial picture had apparently improved. They had reported Bob's salary as $32,960 on their 1996 income tax return, $28,592 on their 1997 return, and $25,175 on their tax return for 1998, the year they began considering adoption. By September 1999… [more]