Living to Love

January 31st, 2012
Posted By: on Crisis Pregnancy

For those who know, I am a birth-first mother who has experienced two unplanned pregnancies--one in adulthood and one in my teens. I have always had a "modus operandi"--a way of handling difficult things. Something in common with both pregnancies-- I ran away from responsibility, didn't face the truth of the situation and when things got tough I found a way to cope. I escaped into video games, and TV and decided to not face the change that would happen, whether I was ready or not. With the first born, Kenny, I celebrated and my pregnancy was very public and I was unaware of what it would take to become a parent. I had a ton of people come visit me in the hospital, and my family even welcomed me back into the… [more]

In the Delivery Room or Not

January 29th, 2010

Hospital BedIf you are considering relinquishment and have matched with a potential adoptive family, chances are that the subject of their presence in the delivery room has come up. Either by the agency's prodding or by their asking, you have been made to think about whether or not you want them to be present as you give birth. It's a touchy subject, one that I can truly see both sides of the coin. So what are those sides? Those that are strongly opposed to the idea of the potential adoptive parents being present in the delivery room are concerned about the (birth) mother's rights and her ability to bond with her baby. It is true that when potential adoptive parents are present in… [more]

Expectant Mothers Beware: Blue Moon on New Year’s Eve!

December 31st, 2009

Full MoonThat's right, my pregnant readers. Tonight is New Year's Eve. Not only will there be a full moon tonight but it is a blue moon! In case you don't know, a blue moon is the second full moon in a calendar month. This is the first time in 19 years that a Blue Moon has fallen on New Year's Eve. So what's that have to do with pregnancy? And why the beware? There's an old wives' tale that more babies are born on a full moon that any other time during a month. Some people really try to discount it. I can tell you that all three of my babies were born the day before, the day of or the day after… [more]

Discussing Adoption With Your Healthcare Provider

July 31st, 2009

As you continue to research your options between parenting and placement, you may be wondering just exactly who needs to be told and when they need to be told. You may fear the judgment that some people may pass on you as you share your plans to place your child for adoption. As such, you might not be open and ready to tell every person you come in contact with about your adoption plan. That's okay. The question remains: should you discuss it with your healthcare provider? It depends. If you are working with an agency, you will likely have to sign a waiver that allows them to access your health records. If you utilize a smaller doctor's office, chances are that your nurses, at the very least, will… [more]

What to Do: Learn About Birth

December 3rd, 2008

Wednesday again and that means it is time for What To Do Wednesdays! This week I'm going to start it off with what seems like an easy step in this process. Trust me, it's a bit more complicated than it will initially sound. Today's task is to learn about birth. I know you're probably thinking, "Really! Birth is the last thing on my mind right now! That comes later." Well, it does come later. But it is one of those things that will affect you whether you decide to parent or place your child for adoption. It is one of the inevitable factors of pregnancy. Birth happens. I went into the labor and delivery room with the daughter I relinquished for adoption horribly unprepared for what would happen within those four… [more]

Visitors in the Hospital

August 13th, 2008

In my last post, I wrote about giving some thought to who you want to be in the delivery room with you when you are in labor. But another issue that will arise during your hospital stay is who you want or do not want to visit you in the hospital. Typically most new mothers will have anywhere from one to three days in the hospital after giving birth. It depends on your health, hospital policy, what type of delivery you have, etc… Unless you take your baby home from the hospital with you before placement (which is totally an option, read more about that here) then the hospital time may be the only alone time you have with your newborn. While it is… [more]

Who Will be in the Delivery Room with You?

July 28th, 2008

Have you given any thought as to who you would like to be in the delivery room with you when you give birth? As your due date draws near this is something that you will want to give some thought to. If you are still involved with your baby’s father, have a boyfriend or spouse, then they are an obvious choice. If you are still friendly with your child’s father but not “together” then you may still wish to ask him to be in the delivery room with you since this is his child too, but also don’t do anything or ask anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. If you are not with your child’s father or the thought of having him in the delivery room… [more]

Leaving the Hospital

April 27th, 2008

If you are pregnant and making an adoption plan, one thing that you may need to prepare for is how you plan to leave the hospital. You want to give these things some thought now as you may be pretty emotional when you are discharged from the hospital, especially if your baby is going directly home with his/her adoptive parents. Also, you’re baby doesn’t have to leave the hospital immediately with the adoptive parents if you need more time to think through your decision or you want to try parenting, then you can of course take your baby home with you. If your baby will be leaving with you, don’t forget that you will need a car seat for the baby. Most hospitals will not let… [more]


August 3rd, 2007

I’m a planner by nature. I like to plan things out ahead of time so I can have some of idea of how things will flow. I think it’s inbred in my genes. My dad used to even plan the potty breaks in our vacation itineraries as a child! So it wasn’t surprising to me or to anyone who knew me very well that during my pregnancy with Charlie I would be planning how his birth would go. Unfortunately, no amount of planning can prepare you for the unexpected. While pregnancies and giving birth occurs daily, no two pregnancies are the same. No matter how routine or normal your pregnancy may appear to be or how routine previous pregnancies may have been (if you… [more]

Hospital Series: Leaving the Hospital

July 27th, 2007

As I conclude this hospital series, I think I should give some space to leaving the hospital. Leaving the hospital was emotional for me as I felt like in some ways I was also leaving my son. We had spent those three days together in the hospital and I knew that we would no longer be together once I walked through the big double doors. Give some thought to how you will be leaving the hospital when it is time to go home. Will the baby be leaving the hospital with you or going with the adoptive parents? Do you wish to leave at the same time as the adoptive parents? Also, as you are preparing to leave the hospital, the issue… [more]