Living to Love

January 31st, 2012
Posted By: on Crisis Pregnancy

For those who know, I am a birth-first mother who has experienced two unplanned pregnancies--one in adulthood and one in my teens. I have always had a "modus operandi"--a way of handling difficult things. Something in common with both pregnancies-- I ran away from responsibility, didn't face the truth of the situation and when things got tough I found a way to cope. I escaped into video games, and TV and decided to not face the change that would happen, whether I was ready or not. With the first born, Kenny, I celebrated and my pregnancy was very public and I was unaware of what it would take to become a parent. I had a ton of people come visit me in the hospital, and my family even welcomed me back into the… [more]

Creating a Blessingway Ceremony to Honor Your Transition to Motherhood

March 15th, 2011

pregoI had the opportunity to go to a workshop called “Creating a Blessingway Ceremony” or “Mother’s Blessing”. It was so beautiful. Since I am working with pregnant women and families, I am able to participate and share with you all the wonderful ideas I learn of how to celebrate pregnancy. Looking back, I wish that I had done more ritual celebrations around my pregnancy. My experiences of the moments between the birth of my daughter and her adoption were slim. I hear other first moms talk about how precious it was when they got to hold their baby. When I held my baby, time stopped. I gazed into her precious eyes, and they swallowed me up. And, suddenly, she was gone. Whatever your decision… [more]

Emotional Support in Pregnancy

March 3rd, 2011

pregoA crisis pregnancy is a turning point that is a significant emotional event. It doesn’t matter how you got here; it matters what you do with this time. People who have planned pregnancies have thought about everything of when ovulation starts to college plans. These long term plans change quickly as children develop their own personalities and ideas, and most of these things aren’t necessary to worry about at this time. When making decisions in a crisis pregnancy, the most important thing is to get “out” of the crisis mode. Make sure that you surround yourself with people who are interested in you, and supporting you and your ethics. One thing that I recommend to all pregnant women, and especially pregnant women in… [more]

What Adoption Means To Me

January 14th, 2011

1093950_happy_kidsThe definition of Adoption: "an instance of adopting somebody or something such as an idea, name, or attitude." I love this definition because the adoption experience is all about overcoming your own preconceived notions of how your life is going to be and accepting a new course. I think all people affected by adoption go through this process. Adoptive couples often have to overcome the fact that they cannot have biological children of their own. Birthparents have to overcome the fact that they are pregnant and not prepared. Adopted children have to overcome the fact that they are raised by parents that are not biological.   Each one of these situations can be a tragedy

Why Me?

January 7th, 2011

sadnessWhy oh why oh why did this happen to me?? I asked myself this over and over when I first realized I was pregnant. Why me? I am just a good girl that fell in love with the wrong guy. Why didn't this happen to one of the many girls I know that constantly sleep around? How come I had to get pregnant? You might be asking yourself the same question. Here was my answer then and now; "It just did. Now make the best you possibly can out of it." Finding out how to do that is the hard part. At first I thought the best and easiest thing to do was to stay with my boyfriend and maybe even marry him. I visualized… [more]

Confused About a Lawsuit

March 30th, 2010

GavelA lawsuit in Maryland has me scratching my head. The Archdiocese of Baltimore is suing the city over a new law that they say is "targeting" pregnancy centers that help women find abortion alternatives. Basically, the new law requires such pregnancy centers to post a sign that states that they do not provide abortions. If they do not post said sign, they can be charged up to $150 per day that the sign is not posted. And I'm left saying, "So? Post the sign." I visited a faith-based pregnancy center when I was pregnant with the Munchkin. I knew that they weren't going to give me information on how to obtain an abortion. I knew that they weren't going to perform an abortion… [more]

The Health Care Bill & Teen Pregnancy

March 22nd, 2010

As you know, the new Health Care Bill passed last night. Twitter, Facebook and the blogosphere exploded with emotion, good and bad. Words were slung back and forth and feelings were hurt. Now that everyone has had a night to sleep on it, my mind wandered to my readers here at the unplanned pregnancy blog. How does this affect you? How does this affect your child yet to be born? It's hard to tell. Those opposed to the bill are already screaming for an appeal. It's also hard to tell how quickly these things will be put into play (though some sections call for 180 days after being passed) and whether they will see the light of day while you are pregnant and making decisions. As an example, if… [more]

In the Delivery Room or Not

January 29th, 2010

Hospital BedIf you are considering relinquishment and have matched with a potential adoptive family, chances are that the subject of their presence in the delivery room has come up. Either by the agency's prodding or by their asking, you have been made to think about whether or not you want them to be present as you give birth. It's a touchy subject, one that I can truly see both sides of the coin. So what are those sides? Those that are strongly opposed to the idea of the potential adoptive parents being present in the delivery room are concerned about the (birth) mother's rights and her ability to bond with her baby. It is true that when potential adoptive parents are present in… [more]

Expectant Mothers Beware: Blue Moon on New Year’s Eve!

December 31st, 2009

Full MoonThat's right, my pregnant readers. Tonight is New Year's Eve. Not only will there be a full moon tonight but it is a blue moon! In case you don't know, a blue moon is the second full moon in a calendar month. This is the first time in 19 years that a Blue Moon has fallen on New Year's Eve. So what's that have to do with pregnancy? And why the beware? There's an old wives' tale that more babies are born on a full moon that any other time during a month. Some people really try to discount it. I can tell you that all three of my babies were born the day before, the day of or the day after… [more]

Ringing In the New Year While Pregnant

December 26th, 2009

Happy New Year! Unless you're due or being induced in the next few days, you will likely ring in the New Year while pregnant. Though, to be fair, even if you're due today, you could still be pregnant for awhile if the baby isn't quite ready to make an exit as of yet! Whatever the case, the ending of one year and beginning of yet another can serve as a very important time of reflection. In 2009, you found yourself pregnant. I know that the year I became pregnant with my relinquished daughter will forever stand out as one of the more difficult years of my life. It was fraught with hard decisions, health problems and, as I gave birth and relinquished… [more]