Sorting through Your Unplanned Pregnancy

October 27th, 2009

1228123_pregnancyIf you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, it can be scary and sometimes unsettling. For some, it is a place full of confusion. But, it doesn’t have to be. It can be a time of self-understanding, self-acceptance, and introspection. It is a time to delve into and analyze how you see your life a few months and then a few years down the road. In order to fully comprehend and make an informed decision, here are some things you can do: Take Time for Yourself: First things first. Take time to think and to feel. Find an empty, quiet place to do this. Take as much time as you need. The first step is to accept that you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. Once… [more]

What To Do Wednesdays

November 26th, 2008
Categories: General, Pregnancy

Wednesday. It's the middle of the week. You've just spent two days procrastinating doing things that need to be done. You have two days ahead of you that likely already have plans to get ready for weekend events. Wednesday. It could go either way. It could be totally unproductive or you could make it your most productive day of the week. So why am I posting this in the Unplanned Pregnancy blog? I remember being pregnant with the Munchkin. I was often paralyzed by fear, five days a week. On Monday I would think, "I need to call such-and-such agency and ask this question." But my fear and anxiety would kick in and I'd say, "I'll do it tomorrow." Monday would fade into Tuesday and before I knew it, Saturday would arrive… [more]

Bowling for Birthmoms, part 2

March 16th, 2007
Categories: General

It’s a cry I hear from birthparents over and over again: “If ONLY someone had believed in me. If ONLY someone had presented one encouraging word, one small offer of emotional support.” In her blog this week, Paragraphein writes of a conversation in which she’s trying to forgive her now-husband for his lack of support during relinquishment. “I opened my mouth to speak and my chin wobbled. The room went blurry behind my tears. My voice shook as I said, “I just wanted one significant person in my life to say to me, ‘You’ll be a good mom, and I’ll help you.’ But no one did. No one said that to me. No one.” It's a sad fact, but very few people ever say… [more]

Bowling for Birthmoms, part 1

March 16th, 2007
Categories: General

Bear with me a while – this two-part post will eventually meander around to a point. The other week I went bowling with my boyfriend. Neither of us are what you’d call talented bowlers, but we like to go every once in a while just for the fun of it. A perfect score is 300; Bryce usually gets about 160, and I call it a great day if I break a hundred. My difficulties with activities like bowling come from the fact that I have almost no coordination. And, as an extremely shy person, I also tend to get stressed out and self-conscious when people are looking at me. Given all that, my usual technique is to lumber up, dump the ball ungracefully, and… [more]

The Journey Part 4: Necessities for your Baby

March 13th, 2007

Now you hear a lot about things that you will need for your child and you really don’t need all the luxuries that many people consider necessary items. When I had my first son, Noah, I was barely nineteen years old and my pregnancy with him was considered an unplanned or crisis pregnancy. We had the bare minimum of items. Ten years later, he is thriving and doing well and he doesn’t remember how much or what we had when he was a baby. I bought a crib from the newspaper for around thirty dollars then cleaned it up a little myself. I bought sheets, bumper pads, and some sleepers and onesies from a yard sale and then just washed them well before he… [more]

Reader Survey

January 24th, 2007
Categories: General

Updated: Link should be working now!! I have created a web survey (like a few of the other bloggers have done here) so we can get to know you, our readers, better. I’m really curious as to why you are reading the Unplanned Pregnancy Blog… Are you in an unplanned pregnancy? Did you experience an unplanned pregnancy in the past? Are you a birthmother? Are you a single mother? Are you another blogger and something in the title caught your interest? Do crisis pregnancy issues just interest you? Or are you just my Mom or my friend?! Ha!! Seriously though, you know about me and I want to know about you! I know you are probably busy, like me. Who isn’t these… [more]

Ranting: I Don’t Know how you Do That

January 18th, 2007
Categories: General

Watch out, I think I am just in a mood lately! It seems like little comments people make are irking me more so than usual. If I had a quarter for every time I’ve heard the phrase “I don’t know how you do it” or “I don’t know how you did it” or “I don’t know if I could do it if I were you,” I could take a really nice shopping spree to Paris! Oh, all the purses I could buy! Ok, I’m getting off my point…… I probably hear this more often than the average birthmother, because not only am I a birthmother, I’m the mom to a special needs child granting-i-don-t-know-how-you-do-that me membership into two different “classes” for lack of a better… [more]

Sinners and Saints

January 17th, 2007
Categories: General

It seems like in the general population’s point of view of birthmothers puts us into one of two categories – sinners or saints. Sinners – At least once out of every five times I explain I am a birthmother I hear the phrase “I could never give my baby away.” This makes me feel like a bad person, like a sinner, like I made a mistake. I have said this before and I will probably say it again, but I still do not think placing Charlie was a mistake. The acts that led up to his conception were mistakes, but giving life to him and subsequently entrusting him to his adoptive parents were not. Yet, when I hear that phrase or am viewed… [more]

Ranting about the Media and Adoption too!

January 8th, 2007

My co-blogger, Heather’s recent post about the media’s ignorance in portraying birthparents got me thinking about my own rant. They not only are ignorant about birthparents but about the whole adoption subject as a whole and will use it at any time to make a story "juicier." This subject has been on my mind a lot lately as the subject of adoption keeps coming up in the news more and more. Have you noticed how the media uses adoption to describe people in their stories? At times, adoption is a pertinent part of the story and needs mentioning but other times it is pointless and I think the only reason it is mentioned is to sensationalize the story a tad bit more. For example… [more]

Top Things NOT to say to a Woman Considering Adoption

January 5th, 2007

I enjoyed the change of format in my post in the open adoption blog yesterday entitled Top 10 Ways to Keep an Open Adoption Running Smoothly and was inspired to do more “lists” so today I give you my top five things you should not say to pregnant women considering adoption. If you are pregnant and considering adoption, feel free to send this link to people who are supporting you in your pregnancy. After my first miscarriage, my best friend read a lot of sites and information regarding things not to say or do or that might be considered hurtful to someone who had just miscarried and your friends and family might like to do the same. With out further a due… [more]