Taking Care of Yourself While Sorting through Your Options

November 14th, 2011

963185_pregnancyTaking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do, especially if you're pregnant--whether it's a planned or unplanned pregnancy. However, this may be difficult to do while you're sorting through your unplanned pregnancy options. The process of sorting through your options can be long, tedious, and sometimes overwhelming, as you have many facts to consider, but taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally is a crucial part of making an informed decision. And an informed decision is the best decision you could ever make. Mentally: During this important period of decision-making, your mind can seem to get in the way sometimes. And because of this, it's important to take some mental breaks throughout the process. When you… [more]

Crisis Vs Pregnancy

March 10th, 2011

1153643_abstract_storm_2 In my previous post, I began talking about the difference between an unplanned pregnancy and a crisis. I want to share my experiences and demonstrate the difference between a pregnancy and a crisis, so others won't make my same mistakes. My experience of going into the hospital with premature labor took away all of my control around my pregnancy and birth. If I could change anything, I would have found a midwife and had a homebirth. When the doctor transferred me into her care, I asked for help with my baby. She stated adoption as the solution because I was unmarried and not Catholic. She gave me several profiles of families to look through that went to her church. The day after… [more]

Emotional Support in Pregnancy

March 3rd, 2011

pregoA crisis pregnancy is a turning point that is a significant emotional event. It doesn’t matter how you got here; it matters what you do with this time. People who have planned pregnancies have thought about everything of when ovulation starts to college plans. These long term plans change quickly as children develop their own personalities and ideas, and most of these things aren’t necessary to worry about at this time. When making decisions in a crisis pregnancy, the most important thing is to get “out” of the crisis mode. Make sure that you surround yourself with people who are interested in you, and supporting you and your ethics. One thing that I recommend to all pregnant women, and especially pregnant women in… [more]

Why Me?

January 7th, 2011

sadnessWhy oh why oh why did this happen to me?? I asked myself this over and over when I first realized I was pregnant. Why me? I am just a good girl that fell in love with the wrong guy. Why didn't this happen to one of the many girls I know that constantly sleep around? How come I had to get pregnant? You might be asking yourself the same question. Here was my answer then and now; "It just did. Now make the best you possibly can out of it." Finding out how to do that is the hard part. At first I thought the best and easiest thing to do was to stay with my boyfriend and maybe even marry him. I visualized… [more]

The Argument for Agencies

February 26th, 2010

Sometimes agencies get a bad reputation. Some of them come by it of their own accord and others simply get swept into the same unfortunate category thanks to the unethical practices of their cohorts. The truth is that there are some great agencies out there who do work very hard to provide a good experience for expectant parents and adoptive parents alike. I wish all agencies would open their eyes and realize how much potential for good they have at their fingertips. They have the ability to provide you with everything you need in one quick stop. Some fall short, however, leaving you under-represented legally or under-counseled emotionally. Good agencies do the following things: Provide you with a wide array of potential families from which to choose. They won't limit the number from… [more]

Considering Your Biological Clock

February 2nd, 2010

ClockAn article published recently lets us know that most of our eggs are used up by the time we hit 30. What does that mean? It means that if you wait to try and conceive until after that age, or later, you may have difficulty, need intervention or be unsuccessful. Of course, if you're reading this blog and under the age of 30, you're likely thinking, "Well, this article doesn't apply to me now and certainly won't matter in my life." Not so fast and not so true. In working with the agency through which I placed, I was told, time and time again, that I could go on to have babies later in life, when the time was right. What no one… [more]

What to Believe About Adoption in the Media

January 31st, 2010

NewsIf you pay any attention to television shows, the news, books, magazines or anything the media has to offer, adoption comes up now and again. If you have no previous experience with the subject of adoption and are now considering relinquishment, it may be hard for you to decide what to believe about adoption from the different ways that they media portrays it. Movies like Juno make it seem like an easy decision. News stories make adoption seem like it's always a kidnapping gone wrong type of story, where birth parents steal babies back or adoptive parents abuse their children. Books, fictional and factual, present one-sided views of the topic, leaving you confused as to whether adoption is good or evil. In… [more]

Sorting through Your Unplanned Pregnancy

October 27th, 2009

1228123_pregnancyIf you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, it can be scary and sometimes unsettling. For some, it is a place full of confusion. But, it doesn’t have to be. It can be a time of self-understanding, self-acceptance, and introspection. It is a time to delve into and analyze how you see your life a few months and then a few years down the road. In order to fully comprehend and make an informed decision, here are some things you can do: Take Time for Yourself: First things first. Take time to think and to feel. Find an empty, quiet place to do this. Take as much time as you need. The first step is to accept that you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. Once… [more]

Programs and People to Avoid

June 29th, 2009

Yesterday I talked about some programs and places that exist to help you as you face an unplanned pregnancy. The truth is that no everyone is looking out for your best interests or even the best interest of your child. Knowing some things to avoid or some red flags to look for at places that should be beneficial to you might help you discern what is and is not a good program for you to utilize. Red Flag #1: They offer conditions to their help. If a pregnancy center will only help you if you attend their church for x-number of weeks, they are not worth your time. If an agency or attorney says that they will help you but only if you place your baby for… [more]

Confessed Words from a Mother

October 25th, 2008

I write about confessions on the subject of adoption with regularity over on the birth parent blog. As I was searching through the archives for adoption related ones, I came across this one that I thought would hit home with those experiencing a crisis pregnancy. I was going to put my last baby up for adoption because my husband left me..He returned 2 weeks before she was born, and told me we weren't going do it. I was watching her crawl and giggle and it hit me that I could of missed out on every little step that I watch her take. I am so sorry....I just can't get it out of my head and I hope she will never find out about this… [more]