Are People Balking at Your Adoption Plan?

October 22nd, 2008

I just wrote over on the birth parent blog how people sometime balk when I talk about my daughter or share our adoption story. However, having been in your shoes before, I can also remember when people would balk when I would talk about how I was placing my child for adoption when she was born. Having the hindsight I have now, as a birth mother, I thought I could offer you some support and some insight into what they may be thinking or feeling. It doesn't excuse any disrespect on their part but sometimes understanding where people are coming from can really help soothe your own wounds. As I told different people about the plan to place my daughter for adoption after she was born… [more]

Co-Parenting and Eating Cake

February 28th, 2008

If you are considering open adoption and are being vocal with this consideration or doing any research, you may see (if you are reading online) and hear from others various myths about open adoption. One of those common myths is that open adoption is comparable to co-parenting. I’ve even heard some people go as far as to say that open adoption is a glorified form of baby sitting or that open adoption is “having your cake and eating it too.” First of all, let’s look at the definition for co=parenting. Co-parenting is defined as: An arrangement in which parents share legal and physical custody of a child or children. - Source Co-parenting situations are typical in cases where custody is shared between two sets of parents… [more]

Unplanned Equals Unwanted and Unloved?

February 19th, 2008
Categories: Society

Society sometimes views adopted children as unwanted or unloved because the birth mother made an adoption plan and “gave her baby away” that she didn’t want or love her child. Do mothers who make adoption plans really not love for children or not want them? Of course not! Just because an expectant mother is considering adoption or actively making an adoption plan does not make her baby unwanted or any less loved than the woman painting her nursery pink down the street. I didn’t try to get pregnant with Charlie and I didn’t want to get pregnant at that time in my life which is why I was on birth control in the first place. But, the unthinkable happened and I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. Sure… [more]

Ranting about the Media and Adoption too!

January 8th, 2007

My co-blogger, Heather’s recent post about the media’s ignorance in portraying birthparents got me thinking about my own rant. They not only are ignorant about birthparents but about the whole adoption subject as a whole and will use it at any time to make a story "juicier." This subject has been on my mind a lot lately as the subject of adoption keeps coming up in the news more and more. Have you noticed how the media uses adoption to describe people in their stories? At times, adoption is a pertinent part of the story and needs mentioning but other times it is pointless and I think the only reason it is mentioned is to sensationalize the story a tad bit more. For example… [more]

Top Things NOT to say to a Woman Considering Adoption

January 5th, 2007

I enjoyed the change of format in my post in the open adoption blog yesterday entitled Top 10 Ways to Keep an Open Adoption Running Smoothly and was inspired to do more “lists” so today I give you my top five things you should not say to pregnant women considering adoption. If you are pregnant and considering adoption, feel free to send this link to people who are supporting you in your pregnancy. After my first miscarriage, my best friend read a lot of sites and information regarding things not to say or do or that might be considered hurtful to someone who had just miscarried and your friends and family might like to do the same. With out further a due… [more]