Feeling Alone

April 20th, 2010

Never AloneChances are that as you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and some life-altering decisions, you may also be facing a little bit of loneliness. Quite possibly you may be facing a lot of loneliness. Add in the constant flux of hormones and you may find yourself feeling as though you're the only person in the world going through any of this craziness. If you are a teenager or a woman in your early twenties, you may have found that your pregnancy announcement was not met with balloons, flowers or cards by your closest of friends. Some of them may have told you congratulations (though none of mine did) and been excited at the prospect of a baby. However, as your belly begins… [more]

Being the First Pregnant One

March 27th, 2009
Categories: Family and Friends

When I experienced my unplanned pregnancy, I was the first one in my friend group to have ever become pregnant. There had been scares. There had been talk about what they would do if two lines appeared on the test. But I was the first one to ever see those two lines. Figures. As such, I had to go it alone on a lot of decisions. No one had valuable, first-hand information to add to conversations. It was really somewhat difficult to navigate on my own. True, it would have been much easier if my partner, my child's father, had been involved in the situation. At least at that point I would have felt as if I wasn't completely alone. To make matters all the more interesting… [more]

Family Support

November 17th, 2008

An article out of Cleveland caught my eye this morning. It talked about unplanned pregnancy with a positive tone instead of the normal doom-and-gloom that normally accompanies the subject. It also painted a realistic portrait of the hardships of young parenthood and the importance of family support. I know that when I first found out I was pregnant with the Munchkin, I was nervous to tell my parents. I feared their reaction. It is true, as well, that we had a lot of issues and communication problems on both my part and theirs of the course of my pregnancy. However, when I come across expectant parents who are considering keeping their pregnancies a secret from their parents (with intent to place and, as such, keep the… [more]

Holiday Survival

November 14th, 2008

If you're experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you may be a little apprehensive about this holiday season. The holidays are notorious for family gatherings, running into old friends and general public meetings. How far along you are in your pregnancy will have an affect on how you might need to deal with people and their questions this season. If you're just newly pregnant, you won't likely have to field questions in public places. Running into a friend at the mall won't present a requirement to explain the basketball under your coat if you still aren't showing. You can, therefore, pick and choose whom you will tell about the pregnancy. When I say pick and choose, I do mean to be selective. The holidays are emotional enough on their… [more]

Asking your Family for Support

April 10th, 2008
Categories: Family and Friends

In my last post, I talked about being envious of a friend who is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and although she thought she would make an adoption plan, her family has agreed to help her. I suggested that if you are pregnant, you should consider talking to your parents about whether or not they would be supportive of your decision to parent, but you may be wondering how you go about this. I know if I were reading that post in the position I was in over six years ago, I would have wondered just how to ask my parents for support. I’ve been brainstorming this and have a few suggestions. First of all, it’s probably not the best idea to have this discussion at… [more]

Envious of Family Support

April 9th, 2008

Have you ever heard the phrase “green with envy?” I’m feeling a little envious of someone at the moment. Her situation is so similar to mine. She’s parenting a child with special needs (not as involved as my son though) and she is pregnant. Her first child’s father passed away and her unborn baby’s father does not want to be involved so she has no father involvement just as I did. Originally she was considering making an adoption plan. She thought it would be the most responsible thing to do in this situation because her parents are already helping with her first child and she didn’t want to burden them with helping her with a second child. But, when she told her parents of her pregnancy… [more]

Dealing with Your Family at Thanksgiving

November 21st, 2007
Categories: Family and Friends

Thanksgiving is a time in which we usually get together with family members or dear friends, give thanks, and eat turkey, dressing (or stuffing as some call it), cranberry sauce, and all the fixings until we are too stuffed for words! But there may be some uncomfortable moments during the giving thanks and the stuffing mouths for those of you who are experiencing unplanned pregnancies. Every pregnant woman gets some of that unsolicited yet well meaning advice and I think many women in unplanned pregnancies may receive twice as much of that unsolicited yet well meant advice from Aunt Peggy or Uncle Jim Bob. It seems that everyone has something to say about what you should do! While families intend to be loving sometimes they can… [more]

Educating your Family on Your Choice

October 8th, 2007
Categories: Family and Friends

One scenario that you might be facing in dealing with your family and their reactions to your pregnancy is their reactions to your choice. For example, in my own situation, my parents (my Dad especially) were supportive of adoption, but were leery of open adoption. They weren’t purposely trying to be unsupportive but they just didn’t understand the concept of open adoption or really even know anything about it. In their day, closed adoptions were the norm, the girl who was pregnant was sent away to have the baby, and it was never spoken of again, supposedly to be forgotten. It could be that your parents are unsupportive of your decision to parent. Regardless though, the support of family is important, so you may wish to… [more]

Your Parent’s Reactions

October 5th, 2007
Categories: Family and Friends

In my last post, we discussed telling your parents that you are pregnant. They are likely to have any number of reactions. In this post, we will explore some of those possible reactions. Your parents may be shocked at an unexpected pregnancy no matter what your age is, but it may be especially harder for them to deal with if you are young. First of all, it’s important to remember that these are the initial reactions your parents may have to this new. Remember how you felt when you first found out the news that you were pregnant? They will experience those initial reactions just as you did. They are likely to become emotional, just as you did. They too will need time to off… [more]

Telling Your Parents

October 4th, 2007
Categories: Family and Friends

We need the support and unconditional love of our family and friends and we probably need it the most during an unplanned pregnancy. You may be afraid to share the news of your unplanned pregnancy with your family, especially your parents. You may be tempted to not tell your parents or hide your pregnancy from them. However, this is not a very good idea for a number of reasons. Hiding a pregnancy can be very stressful and can add additional stress to an already stressful situation and will not be good for your own health and the health of your unborn baby. Additionally, if you live with your parents, they may begin to notice the early symptoms of pregnancy, such as morning sickness… [more]