How Do You Tell People?

March 20th, 2013

pregnantEither you've gotten the two pink lines,  or your doctor has just informed you that you are indeed pregnant. Your mind is awash with the fact that this wasn't a planned situation. Your heart beats a little faster, maybe you cry a little. Perhaps you are confused because you were safe and had used contraception. Whatever the case, you are now informed that you are pregnant. What's next?  Before you figure out what you want to do regarding your pregnancy, I suggest finding someone to talk to about your pregnancy. This could be a therapist, a family member or a friend. Find someone who will support you unconditionally and won't rush you into making a decision that isn't yours. At this stage of… [more]

You Have to Make Yourself Happy Before Other People!

July 13th, 2011

smileThe choice to place your baby for adoption might not make anyone else in your life happy, but you have to remember, this is your decision. You will be the one taking care of the baby for the rest of your life if you don't make the choice to place. Not ANYONE else. Of course there are certain circumstances that might arise that the baby might not be able to stay with you, and that would be even worse for your little one to bounce around from place to place. You have to do what is right for your baby. My boyfriend, the father of my beautiful unborn baby, brought adoption up to me as soon as we found out that I was… [more]

Discussing Adoption with Your Baby’s Father

April 28th, 2010
Categories: Baby's Dad

Talking Depending on how your baby's father reacted to the news of your shared pregnancy, you may or may not be looking forward to broaching the subject of adoption. If you have been researching the topic on your own, you will eventually have to have another one of "Those Discussions." They feel big and scary. The uncertainty of his response might have you dragging your feet. Most of the fear, however, is the unknown. Once you tell him and receive his reaction, you can plan accordingly. As such, you should tell him about your thoughts on adoption as soon as you can muster the courage. The reality of the situation is that your baby's father has rights. As you have decided at… [more]

Feeling Alone

April 20th, 2010

Never AloneChances are that as you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and some life-altering decisions, you may also be facing a little bit of loneliness. Quite possibly you may be facing a lot of loneliness. Add in the constant flux of hormones and you may find yourself feeling as though you're the only person in the world going through any of this craziness. If you are a teenager or a woman in your early twenties, you may have found that your pregnancy announcement was not met with balloons, flowers or cards by your closest of friends. Some of them may have told you congratulations (though none of mine did) and been excited at the prospect of a baby. However, as your belly begins… [more]

Differentiating Fact from Opinion

February 22nd, 2010

TalkingWhen you get pregnant, everyone has a story, an opinion and a series of statistics to throw at you. When you become unexpectedly pregnant, these stories, opinions and statistics are thrown at you sometimes with a not-so-nice attitude. If you throw an adoption plan into the mix, they multiply in number, coming either with a sugar-coating or a bad aftertaste. Point being that when you're prengnant, intentional or not, you're going to be on the receiving end of a lot of unsolicited advice. Don't despair. Too much. It can be difficult to differentiate fact from opinion as you wade through the waters of everyone's experiences. Sometimes the opinions are easy to spot. Insults are usually opinions. Anyone who is calling you names, degrading you… [more]

Being the First Pregnant One

March 27th, 2009
Categories: Family and Friends

When I experienced my unplanned pregnancy, I was the first one in my friend group to have ever become pregnant. There had been scares. There had been talk about what they would do if two lines appeared on the test. But I was the first one to ever see those two lines. Figures. As such, I had to go it alone on a lot of decisions. No one had valuable, first-hand information to add to conversations. It was really somewhat difficult to navigate on my own. True, it would have been much easier if my partner, my child's father, had been involved in the situation. At least at that point I would have felt as if I wasn't completely alone. To make matters all the more interesting… [more]

Family Support

November 17th, 2008

An article out of Cleveland caught my eye this morning. It talked about unplanned pregnancy with a positive tone instead of the normal doom-and-gloom that normally accompanies the subject. It also painted a realistic portrait of the hardships of young parenthood and the importance of family support. I know that when I first found out I was pregnant with the Munchkin, I was nervous to tell my parents. I feared their reaction. It is true, as well, that we had a lot of issues and communication problems on both my part and theirs of the course of my pregnancy. However, when I come across expectant parents who are considering keeping their pregnancies a secret from their parents (with intent to place and, as such, keep the… [more]

Holiday Survival

November 14th, 2008

If you're experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you may be a little apprehensive about this holiday season. The holidays are notorious for family gatherings, running into old friends and general public meetings. How far along you are in your pregnancy will have an affect on how you might need to deal with people and their questions this season. If you're just newly pregnant, you won't likely have to field questions in public places. Running into a friend at the mall won't present a requirement to explain the basketball under your coat if you still aren't showing. You can, therefore, pick and choose whom you will tell about the pregnancy. When I say pick and choose, I do mean to be selective. The holidays are emotional enough on their… [more]

Are People Balking at Your Adoption Plan?

October 22nd, 2008

I just wrote over on the birth parent blog how people sometime balk when I talk about my daughter or share our adoption story. However, having been in your shoes before, I can also remember when people would balk when I would talk about how I was placing my child for adoption when she was born. Having the hindsight I have now, as a birth mother, I thought I could offer you some support and some insight into what they may be thinking or feeling. It doesn't excuse any disrespect on their part but sometimes understanding where people are coming from can really help soothe your own wounds. As I told different people about the plan to place my daughter for adoption after she was born… [more]

Coping with Pressure to Place

July 27th, 2008

Are you feeling pressure to place your baby for adoption? I’m referring to pressure placed up on you either from family and friends or pressure do to your situation and circumstances. Perhaps, you are feeling pressure do to your finances. You’re working a dead end job, you can barely make the rent. Sound familiar? Believe me; some people who plan to get pregnant may not be much more financially stable than you are. Check out what resources your state offers for mothers in need. Check into housing and other government programs. By doing this, you could find a solution or a way to help out with the financial pressures and problems you are facing. Is the pressure you are feeling related to school or your job?… [more]