Open Adoption: My Journey

September 1st, 2011

mountain_roadWhen I was a little girl, I never dreamt I would become pregnant and place a child for adoption. I didn’t understand until I saw the caseworkers walk out the hospital door with my newborn son Phoenix, the finality of my decision. It was heartbreaking and for awhile I struggled with where I was in that. The great part of my story, the part I reflect on when times are hard is the perfect family he became a part of. I didn’t have a family picked out. He was going to a foster family, whom I knew nothing about. When I met the foster mom, I asked her how my baby was doing. When she replied, I was blown away by her authenticity… [more]

Why Me?

January 7th, 2011

sadnessWhy oh why oh why did this happen to me?? I asked myself this over and over when I first realized I was pregnant. Why me? I am just a good girl that fell in love with the wrong guy. Why didn't this happen to one of the many girls I know that constantly sleep around? How come I had to get pregnant? You might be asking yourself the same question. Here was my answer then and now; "It just did. Now make the best you possibly can out of it." Finding out how to do that is the hard part. At first I thought the best and easiest thing to do was to stay with my boyfriend and maybe even marry him. I visualized… [more]

Avoiding Insincere Families

April 13th, 2009

A thread was posted on the forums just recently that really upset me. An expectant mother considering placement recounted the general nastiness she had to endure in dealing with a potential adoptive family for her child. In short, when she felt uncomfortable with the way the potential adoptive mother reacted to an issue that she had no control over and eventually decided to go with another family, the expectant mother was called names and generally treated like dirt. She found out at this point that she had been lied to multiple times by a woman who would seemingly have said anything to get her child. My heart breaks for those that have had to endure such a horrible experience. But it happens. Is there a way to… [more]

Making the decision twice

March 19th, 2006

My single best piece of advice to pregnant women considering adoption is to make the decision twice--once before the birth, and once again after the birth. As a graduate student in marketing communications, I’m currently taking a class that covers how people make the decision to take action (in the case of my class, it's the decision to buy a product).The stages of consideration for buying something are awareness, information gathering, pre-purchase evaluation, decision-making, purchase, and post-purchase evaluation. However, these stages also apply to most other decisions we make. If we transfer them to the field of adoption, we could say that the stages are awareness, information gathering, pre-surrender evaluation (pregnancy), initial decision-making, birth, and post-birth decision-making. It’s this last step that I want to… [more]