How Do You Tell People?

March 20th, 2013

pregnantEither you've gotten the two pink lines,  or your doctor has just informed you that you are indeed pregnant. Your mind is awash with the fact that this wasn't a planned situation. Your heart beats a little faster, maybe you cry a little. Perhaps you are confused because you were safe and had used contraception. Whatever the case, you are now informed that you are pregnant. What's next?  Before you figure out what you want to do regarding your pregnancy, I suggest finding someone to talk to about your pregnancy. This could be a therapist, a family member or a friend. Find someone who will support you unconditionally and won't rush you into making a decision that isn't yours. At this stage of… [more]

The Hows and Whys

November 18th, 2011
Posted By: on Crisis Pregnancy

heartSomeone asked me along time ago why I chose adoption. For me it was as simple as a switch; on or off, right or wrong? It was also very complicated choosing which way to go, but eventually love found a way. I was in a pretty destitute situation at the time, living from hand to mouth. Basic survival was a fight both mentally and physically. Somewhere in the mess of my head, something said, "Wake up and smell the coffee then deal with it." So I did. There are some people who say, "Adoption is an easy way out."  To those, I would say some unkind words and make them regret they ever thought that. Why? Because it was losing a child, and the grief… [more]

Open Adoption: Does He Know?

September 1st, 2011

nellieIt truly amazes me as I look back, how much one child changed me life forever. After receiving pictures in the mail from the adoptive family today and secluding myself into my room I really looked at them. As tears slipped down my cheeks my only thought was this: Does he know how much he is loved? I may not be an immediate part of his life, but I am the one who carried him for 9 months, and held him as my own for four days , when he was really never mine to begin with. I loved him for our four days, with such depth that I lost sleep, just to squeeze every minute out of the hospital experience. I loved him, and… [more]

Open Adoption: My Journey

September 1st, 2011

mountain_roadWhen I was a little girl, I never dreamt I would become pregnant and place a child for adoption. I didn’t understand until I saw the caseworkers walk out the hospital door with my newborn son Phoenix, the finality of my decision. It was heartbreaking and for awhile I struggled with where I was in that. The great part of my story, the part I reflect on when times are hard is the perfect family he became a part of. I didn’t have a family picked out. He was going to a foster family, whom I knew nothing about. When I met the foster mom, I asked her how my baby was doing. When she replied, I was blown away by her authenticity… [more]

Creating a Blessingway Ceremony to Honor Your Transition to Motherhood

March 15th, 2011

pregoI had the opportunity to go to a workshop called “Creating a Blessingway Ceremony” or “Mother’s Blessing”. It was so beautiful. Since I am working with pregnant women and families, I am able to participate and share with you all the wonderful ideas I learn of how to celebrate pregnancy. Looking back, I wish that I had done more ritual celebrations around my pregnancy. My experiences of the moments between the birth of my daughter and her adoption were slim. I hear other first moms talk about how precious it was when they got to hold their baby. When I held my baby, time stopped. I gazed into her precious eyes, and they swallowed me up. And, suddenly, she was gone. Whatever your decision… [more]

Why Me?

January 7th, 2011

sadnessWhy oh why oh why did this happen to me?? I asked myself this over and over when I first realized I was pregnant. Why me? I am just a good girl that fell in love with the wrong guy. Why didn't this happen to one of the many girls I know that constantly sleep around? How come I had to get pregnant? You might be asking yourself the same question. Here was my answer then and now; "It just did. Now make the best you possibly can out of it." Finding out how to do that is the hard part. At first I thought the best and easiest thing to do was to stay with my boyfriend and maybe even marry him. I visualized… [more]

People Aren’t Excited About Your Pregnancy?

April 13th, 2010
Categories: Advice

I knew that my situation wasn't what society deemed the normal progression for welcoming a baby into the world. However, I was completely unprepared for the utter lack of excitement when I made my announcement. I was met with disbelief, anger, judgment, laughter, pity and a number of other negative reactions. Part of me wasn't surprised. I wasn't married. I was in one of those post-college, temporary-at-best type jobs. I had a long list of things working against me (and that was before I got sick). The other part of me wondered why not one person offered a simply congratulations. I understand the disappointment but my family was always one who touted the "babies are always a blessing line," as were other people that I associated with at… [more]

Sorting through Your Unplanned Pregnancy

October 27th, 2009

1228123_pregnancyIf you’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, it can be scary and sometimes unsettling. For some, it is a place full of confusion. But, it doesn’t have to be. It can be a time of self-understanding, self-acceptance, and introspection. It is a time to delve into and analyze how you see your life a few months and then a few years down the road. In order to fully comprehend and make an informed decision, here are some things you can do: Take Time for Yourself: First things first. Take time to think and to feel. Find an empty, quiet place to do this. Take as much time as you need. The first step is to accept that you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. Once… [more]

Your Pregnancy Wasn’t Planned: So What?

August 31st, 2009
Categories: Advice

An article talking about the pros and cons of planned and unplanned pregnancies got me thinking. I've got a secret: even parents who plan to get pregnant are shocked about various aspects of pregnancy and parenthood. I've experienced both sides of the fence and I can assure you that pregnancy and the prospect of parenthood, planned or unplanned, can make even the bravest of mothers and fathers shake in their boots. The truth is, as the article states, over half of the pregnancies in the United States are unplanned. Some were teens. Some were twenty, thirty and even forty-somethings who were dating but thought they were exempt from unplanned pregnancies as they were no longer a teen. A large number that fall in the statistic were… [more]

Unplanned Pregnancy Tips from a Kardashian?

August 27th, 2009
Categories: Advice

I have to admit: I don't know why the Kardashian family is famous. I've never seen the show(s). I only know that one of the women is pregnant because I picked up my cousin's People magazine while I was on vacation. Without having read that particular article, I might not have clicked on this one in which Kourtney gives advice on unplanned pregnancy. People always complain that celebrities set bad examples with their partying, their issues with drugs and alcohol and, of course, with their unplanned pregnancies. While Kourtney isn't exactly a teen, she does have teens who (apparently) look up to her. As such, people argue that she and other celebrities like her should be held to a higher standard. I always said that… [more]