Since Jenna recently informed me that today is BlogHer Blog Act for Mothers Act Day, I too will be blogging about my personal postpartum experiences today.

I honestly do not remember a whole lot of anything that would be considered Post Partum Depression after giving birth to Noah. He was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for weeks after his birth. I was a young, first time mother. Because of Noah’s... more

Birth control may seem like an odd topic for a blog on crisis/unplanned pregnancies but it is something that you may want to begin thinking about. Towards the end of both of my pregnancies, I can recall my doctor or a nurse asking me if I had given thought to birth control method of choice I would be using after the birth of my babies. It’s a good idea to start thinking now about what birth control method will work best for you. Even if you have sworn off men and sex, it is still a wise idea to go ahead and be on birth control as a precaution.

Nowadays there are... more

One unexpected predicament that some birthmothers have to face after relinquishment is a change in the relationship between themselves and the adoptive family, this typically happens more often between the expectant mother and the prospective adoptive mother. Several birthmother friends have experienced this and I dealt with it myself.

During her pregnancy, once she has chosen an adoptive family, some expectant mothers begin to spend a lot of free time with or talking to the adoptive parents. Often times the adoptive mother may accompany the expectant mother to her doctor... more

A common question I hear from new birthmothers is “does it get any easier?” It in that question is referring to the immense emotional pain and grief a new birthmother feels. I un-fondly remember being a new birthmother. Those first few days home from the hospital were so incredibly hard. All I really did was lie around and cry. Your body is still tired from just having given birth and in my case my body was healing from a c-section as well. So aside from just being physically exhausted and worn out, I was on emotional overload.

Being... more

In my last post, I talked about the lessons I have learned as a birthmother. But I have also learned many things and lessons from the adoptive mothers and adoptees I have had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know on my adoption journey. The list below may not be things that every adoptive mother or adoptee will agree with or feels as well, but the things and feelings of the adoptive mothers and adoptees I have met along the way.

... more

My journey as a birthmother has taught me many things. Some of these things or “lessons” are things I already knew but have been reaffirmed in my walk as a birthmother while others specifically relate to adoption and I didn’t know as an outsider.

I’ve learned to be more compassionate. I was already a compassionate person but adoption and being a birthmother has taught me to be even more compassionate towards other people. I’ve learned to root for the underdog. I consider an expectant mother who is single and doesn’t have... more

“Regret is insight that comes a day too late.” ~ Unknown

I think the question I probably get asked the most from both birthmothers and pregnant women considering adoption alike has to be “Do you regret your decision to place your baby for adoption?” On the surface, one might think that question would have a simple yes or no answer. But oh boy, that’s a loaded question with a very complicated answer.

The way I look at it is that I made the best possible decision with the information I had at the time... more

My co-blogger Heather just wrote two great posts about seeing adoption through rose colored glasses. It is funny that she wrote these today as just last night I was just discussing with a friend my thoughts and feelings on adoption and how much they have changed in the past five years.

When I first became a birthmother, I was in the euphoric stages that Heather describes in her post. I felt awesome that I helped a family have a child and focused much more on... more

Oh, I just love this picture! It means a lot to me because we are just doing a normal parent/child thing. It was taken a few weeks ago at Noah’s tenth birthday party. Noah’s birthday party was at a fun park that has arcade games, go carts, bumper boats, ski ball, miniature golf, and more! While Noah was riding a go cart with J, Charlie who decided (for some odd reason) that he did NOT want to ride a go cart. His Mom needed to stay outside and watch his sister since she was on a go cart at that moment. So I offered to take him inside and play games... more

I was reflecting on my life last night on a long quiet drive home. I was thinking about the changes in my life since becoming a birthmom. Some of the changes have been good and some of course have been sad.

I think I have become a better Mother to the son I am parenting. I treasure the moments that we have a lot more. I mean, I always treasured them before, but now I know what it truly is like to miss moments and so the moments mean more.

I have learned not to take things for granted. Parenting a child with special needs, I had learned before not to take little things a child does for... more