You are trying to cope with the stress and largeness of your grief. You are taking things on a day to day basis – just trying to survive. Each of us has different ways to deal with our grief just as we each deal with grief differently. Recall how you have dealt with major loss in the past and use some of those techniques now. It is important to remember that some ways of coping are healthy and positive such as journaling, crying, etc while other methods of coping such as substance abuse are unhealthy and self destructive.

Some ways to cope –

Allow yourself to... more

Grief is a very personal process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You may be in one of the stages listed below for weeks and you may even move backwards. Also, experts differ over the number of stages. The important thing is to know that what you are feeling is normal and just give yourself time to heal.

Denial and Disbelief – These feelings temporarily protect you from the reality of your loss and what is going on in your life. You may not want to deal with the situation at hand and will push the feelings aside in order to avoid dealing with... more

Grieving and mourning are a natural and normal process that we all go through when a loss occurs in our lives. I think in the general society grief is associated with death, but it doesn’t necessarily always coincide with death. It can coincide with any major loss or change in our lives.

Placing a child for adoption is one of those life altering events that people grieve over. Birthmoms face grieving and mourning head on and personally speaking, a little of that occurred (at least for me) during my pregnancy and not just after my child was born, like I thought. The early... more

You’ve taken a pregnancy test and it has 2 lines screaming positive! Now what??

I’ll never forget taking that first pregnancy test when I found out I was pregnant with my son. By the 3rd test, my friend who was there for moral support, says, “You can take 100 pregnancy tests and I think they are all going to be positive. You are pregnant.”

In a moment, reality hit. I was really and truly pregnant! It was about that time when my friend said, “Tons of women get pregnant everyday. You can handle this. You will figure it out.” Those first few days of reality... more

So you have decided to make an adoption plan and are moving forward with it. As your belly grows bigger, your due date grows closer. The upcoming hospital experience is going to be here soon and as a potential birthmother it is something you need to think about it.

A few things to think about prior to going to the hospital:

Who do I want to be there with me while in labor? You may feel obligated to have the prospective adoptive parents in the labor and delivery room. This choice is totally up to you. It is your labor and delivery... more

We all know about postpartum depression, but what about depression during pregnancy? In an article entitled "Not Always the Happiest Time," this week's edition of Newsweek magazine (April 24, 2006) addresses the issue of depression among expectant mothers. According to the article, doctors say that the incidence of depression is the same among pregnant women as it is in the general population (about 20 percent). However, depression during pregnancy is usually viewed with more disapproval than... more

• Ask those in your support network whether they will be willing to lend a hand from time to time with babysitting or child care. Talk to a wide range of trusted friends and relatives, or people you know from churches or other social organizations. You may be surprised to find out who can relate to your story, and who exactly wants to help. • Consider where you and the baby will live (in your own home? in public housing? in student family housing? with a friend or relative?), and make the necessary arrangements. • If you work, talk to your boss to find out how much leave you can take from work and how they will handle your absence. Learn about the Family... more

When you’re in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy, your whole world can feel so completely out of control that it may help to write an action plan for all the things you’ll need to do over the coming months. Following is a checklist of items which are useful to consider whether you ultimately choose adoption or not. It is by no means complete, but it will get you started in your planning.

• Tell everyone who needs to know that you are pregnant. Stress that you do not want to be pressured, and that you will be taking your time to consider all your options. • Find an OB/GYN... more

For any expectant mother, making a birth plan is a helpful step in preparing for labor and delivery. This goes for women considering adoption, too.

A birth plan simply outlines your preferences for how you’d like your hospital experience to go. How many visitors do you want at your delivery? Do you want to hold the baby right away? Are you hoping to be able to eat and drink while you labor? Do you want music playing in your room?

Keep in mind that this isn’t a list of demands—only your doctor can make the medical decisions. It’s just a statement of how you would... more

Many birthmothers look back on their pregnancies and wish they’d done more to celebrate their motherhood as they carried their child. Crisis pregnancies are nothing if not stressful, but you should still try to enjoy the nine months you have.

Because our culture doesn’t do a great job of valuing life, an unplanned pregnancy can feel like a "mistake." Shame and fear can pile up, and unsupportive friends, family or partners can cause you to ignore or downplay your pregnancy.

If you take a longer-term view, however, you will soon begin to realize that in the big picture of your life, these nine months will eventually turn into something you’ll look back on with pride. (Creating... more