In my last post, I wrote about giving some thought to who you want to be in the delivery room with you when you are in labor. But another issue that will arise during your hospital stay is who you want or do not want to visit you in the hospital.

Typically most new mothers will have anywhere from one to three days in the hospital after giving birth. It depends on your health, hospital policy, what type of delivery you have, etc… Unless you take your baby home... more

Have you given any thought as to who you would like to be in the delivery room with you when you give birth? As your due date draws near this is something that you will want to give some thought to.

If you are still involved with your baby’s father, have a boyfriend or spouse, then they are an obvious choice. If you are still friendly with your child’s father but not “together” then you may still wish to ask him to be in the delivery room with you since this is his child too, but also don’t do anything or ask anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable.

If... more

If you are pregnant and making an adoption plan, one thing that you may need to prepare for is how you plan to leave the hospital. You want to give these things some thought now as you may be pretty emotional when you are discharged from the hospital, especially if your baby is going directly home with his/her adoptive parents.

Also, you’re baby doesn’t have to leave the hospital immediately with the adoptive parents if you need more time to think through your decision or you want to try parenting, then you can of course take your baby home with you. If your baby will... more

I’m a planner by nature. I like to plan things out ahead of time so I can have some of idea of how things will flow. I think it’s inbred in my genes. My dad used to even plan the potty breaks in our vacation itineraries as a child! So it wasn’t surprising to me or to anyone who knew me very well that during my pregnancy with Charlie I would be planning how his birth would go.

Unfortunately, no amount of planning can prepare you for the unexpected. While pregnancies and giving birth occurs daily, no two pregnancies are the same. No matter how routine or normal... more

As I conclude this hospital series, I think I should give some space to leaving the hospital. Leaving the hospital was emotional for me as I felt like in some ways I was also leaving my son. We had spent those three days together in the hospital and I knew that we would no longer be together once I walked through the big double doors.

Give some thought to how you will be leaving the hospital when it is time to go home. Will the baby be leaving the hospital with you or going with the adoptive parents? Do you wish to leave at the same time as the adoptive... more

Keepsake items are important to any new mother but they are very important to birthmothers because they provide her with a tangible way to remember her child and remember the short time they spent together in the hospital.

Keepsake items are going to differ from mother to mother. What I consider a treasured item may not be a treasure to the next mother, so keep what is meaningful and important to you.

These items are YOURS to keep. If you are worried about your child’s adoptive mother receiving any of the keepsake items, talk with the hospital staff.... more

“You must say hello before you can say goodbye.”

I am a very firm believer in this statement, although I’d never force seeing her baby on any expectant mom making an adoption plan, but I think that if you do not spend time with your baby while in the hospital you might regret it later. I don’t know any birthmother who regrets the time she spent with her baby. In fact, I regret not spending enough one on one time with Charlie.

Why would a placing mother not want to see or spend time with her baby? Perhaps she... more

Somewhere in your third trimester you may wish to go ahead and pack a bag to have prepared to take to the hospital with you. By packing your bag in advance you are assured that you get to pack it and you get to choose the things you like the best. I did not follow this advice when Charlie was born and had to send my Dad to my apartment to pick some things up for me. Needless to say, I didn’t get every little item I’d wanted.

Once you pack your bag, throw it in a closet or an out of the way place and then it’s there ready and waiting for you... more

Another issue that you should give some thought to is who you wish to visit during your hospital stay. Depending on the state you live in, what type of delivery you have, and the policies of the hospital you deliver at, you (and your baby) could be in the hospital anywhere to twenty four hours to three or more days. So, you will have some time for visitors.

Even though I was planning an open adoption, I felt this need to have many friends and family members come to the hospital. I almost felt like it was their only chance to see him. Probably just my hormones... more

If you are pretty firm in your decision to place your child for adoption, another issue that may come up is whether or not you wish to have the prospective adoptive parents in the labor and delivery room with you. In this context I am referring to the prospective adoptive parents being in the labor room as spectators not your labor coach.

As with most issues in the adoption world, there are different schools of thought and pros and cons to this subject. Before you begin pondering the thought of whether or not to have the adoptive parents in... more