If you haven’t noticed by now, I am following the great ultrasound debate in my state regarding a law that South Carolina law makers are trying to pass. Source

If this bill is passed and becomes a law it would require women seeking an abortion to view ultrasound photos of their baby before moving forward with an abortion and to sign a document saying they had done so. If passed, this... more

Last week, I posted about a proposed bill in my state (South Carolina) that would require women seeking an abortion to view ultrasound photos before obtaining the abortion. Currently, abortion providers are required to tell the women the approximate age of her baby, provide her with info on fetal development, and then require her to wait at least one hour before she can obtain an abortion. But this new bill takes all of that a step further, requiring a... more

My co-blogger, Heather’s recent post about the media’s ignorance in portraying birthparents got me thinking about my own rant. They not only are ignorant about birthparents but about the whole adoption subject as a whole and will use it at any time to make a story "juicier." This subject has been on my mind a lot lately as the subject of adoption keeps coming up in the news more and more.

Have you noticed how the media uses adoption to describe people in... more

So yeah, ignorance is everywhere, and if you surrender your child, be aware that you’re going to face a boatload of it over the course of your lifetime. There are times when you will be scorned, vilified, and totally mischaracterized, and it will hurt far more than you think.

It happened to me at work just the other day. I work at a major corporation where I am well-respected by my supposedly educated and enlightened colleagues—or so it would seem on the surface. Maybe they aren’t so smart after all, and perhaps they wouldn’t really respect me if... more

I know that everyone gets tired of angry posts from me, but I gotta say it...

Nancy Grace is an idiot.

Here is an excerpt from a transcript of her show, where she’s talking about Allison Quets’ decision to surrender.

GRACE: And, you know, and when you think about it, to psychotherapist Dr. Leslie Austin, if you`re thinking about and willing to sign away your children, I think Florida has the right idea. Why do you want these... more

continued from previous post...

When I was pregnant, the only “real” birthmom I talked to was one of these agency mouthpieces. The agency gave me her name and number, and I called her up. It was a totally weird conversation: she spoke in a monotone, with no expression, uttering platitudes about how good it felt to make someone else’s dream come true. She didn’t sound like someone who felt good – she sounded highly depressed. But I took her words at face value.

I know better now. I know that as a new mother without... more

Everyone wants to know from birthmoms: “What did it feel like?” Unfortunately, this is also one of the hardest things to accurately explain, whether you feel good about your choice or not. Why is this?

Well, some of us don’t like to face the pain so directly. Others don’t have the words to describe it. And still others are still so close to the experience that they don’t have the necessary perspective on what has happened to them.

That’s why I draw your attention to this... more

(continued from last post)

When I was pregnant and considering adoption, my friend Todd tried to counter all the socially conservative advice I was getting. “Heather, my mom raised me by herself. We had the best time. And look at me – I turned out great!” (Lack of modesty aside, he has.)

But Todd’s voice was in the minority in my world. As the Newsweek story states, “Conservatives warn that the surge in out-of-wedlock births will lead to problem kids who perpetuate the cycle.” This is what my family believed,... more

An interesting article in Newsweek online, “Putting Motherhood Before Matrimony”, says that four out of 10 births are to unmarried moms. Depending on your social and political views, this is either a distressing sign of the end times, or no big news.

In the adoption world, we tend to talk about single motherhood out of both sides of our mouths. If we’re speaking to women considering relinquishing, we say that single motherhood isn’t good enough, and that a child needs... more

Greetings from China. I'm here in Beijing on business. Today I go on to Taiwan, a place I already instinctively like because it recently approved open records for adoptees.

Whenever I travel internationally, I always think more about adoption, especially the birthparent/adoptee side of the equation. Adoption represents loss and gain, joy and sorrow, and when you are in countries that do a lot of adoptions, it is easy to dwell on the big questions. Why do some countries send more children than others? What could we do to improve things so that children... more