I signed the papers in a hospital room, a few days after giving birth. The papers that forever changed my life. The papers that stripped my motherhood and made me a birthmother. The relinquishment papers – that word (relinquishment) alone sounds so taunting and dooming. It was a Sunday. In my mind, I remember it being rainy and dark and gloomy outside. But I honestly don’t remember if it really was rainy outside or just in my heart.

It was the last day of my hospital stay. I went home shortly after signing the papers. I had... more

A few of my fellow bloggers here at adoptionblogs.com have been writing a series of terrifically poignant posts called “Unphotographable,” intended to bring to life those hard-to-describe moments in adoption.

Some of the Unphotographables have been about the happier moments in adoption—things like the first time an adoptive parent sees their new child, or vivid scenes from travel to foreign countries. Unfortunately, as a birthparent, my memories are mostly not that great.

Here are a... more

If you had asked me a few years back, my opinions on teen pregnancy, I would have probably been a little negative thinking that a teen parent could not possibly have the patience and financial abilities to properly provide and care for a newborn. I probably would have thought adoption might be a better option for that child. However, my opinions have been greatly changed by a little man named Landon.

Landon was born to my nephew, T, and his girlfriend, LA. My nephew is seventeen and his girlfriend is sixteen. He is a senior in high school... more

Yesterday I shared the story of a pregnant teenager who chose to parent her son. Today, I will share Jenifer’s story, a pregnant teenager who chose adoption.

Jen was 17 when she became pregnant. Her boyfriend broke up with her during the pregnancy because he was so scared. Jenifer ended up placing her daughter in a semi-open adoption.

Did you consider all your options or did you immediately think adoption when you found out you were pregnant?

A... more

In continuing with the teen pregnancy series, today I’d like to share the story of a teen mom.

Meet Tabitha Tabitha became pregnant for the first time at 16 years old. She married her high school sweetheart while she was pregnant. She gave birth to her son two days after her 17th birthday in 1997. She freely shares the triumphs and tribulations of being a teen mom with us.

Did you consider adoption? For about 1 hour on a very bad day. Neither of us could find jobs and money was scarce.... more

Today, I bring you the third and final part of my interview with a new birthmom, Jamie.

Coley: Describe your hospital experience? Were the adoptive parents there? Did you spend time one on one with your daughter?

Jamie: My birthmother advocate had me fill out a written hospital plan that I was to take with me to the hospital. It helped notify the hospital staff of my wishes during my stay during the hospital so that things would go smooth for me and make this uncomfortable time a little easier.... more

In continuance with my first post, Interview with a New Birthmom, I share part 2 of that interview with you….

Coley: Did you have support during your pregnancy? Please tell us what kind of support and how it was helpful to you.

Jamie: During my pregnancy, Lauren's birthfather was very little support to me. He only came to one doctor's appointment with me. He did show up for Lauren's... more

In my quest to bring you the stories of real birthmothers, I interviewed Jamie, a friend, single parent and rather new birthmom. Jamie has raised her daughter, Gabrielle as a single parent for the past 12 years and just about four months ago, placed her daughter Lauren in a semi-open adoption. Jamie’s interview provides us with an inside look at a new birthmother. Keep in mind though; each person’s feelings are her own. Jamie may not feel exactly what I felt and you may not feel what she felt. This is just an inside glimpse into her love and pain. In the coming weeks and months, I will bring you stories and interviews of other birthmothers, new and old. While no two stories are the same, I... more

Today I am continuing my interview that I started yesterday in my interfamily adoption series with birthmother Michelle and her sister and adoptive mother Amanda.

Coley: Have you discussed the future? What Olivia will be told?

Michelle: She will always know she is adopted and that I am her birthmother. It will be further... more

On Monday I began a short series on interfamily adoptions. In that post, I explained what interfamily adoptions were, shared some resources for more information, and touched on the issues that may arise as a result of interfamily adoptions.

Today and tomorrow I’d like to share the story of two women. One woman, Michelle, is a birthmother and the other woman, Amanda, is an adoptive mother. But they are more than just two women... more