From time to time I ask different birthmothers what they wish they had known while they were pregnant and before placing their children for adoption. If you are pregnant and considering adoption, you may find their thoughts helpful. To read previous posts in this series look at the links at the bottom of this post.

“I wish I had known that although the agency was nice while I was pregnant, they didn’t truly care about me. Once they had my baby, they really didn’t need to be nice to me anymore.” (statement by R.) “I wish I had known that open adoption was not... more

This is a continuation of the original list of Ten Things the Adoption Professionals Forgot to Tell Us. Some of the ideas for the second part of the list have come from suggestions in the comments section of the original post.

I wish the adoption agency had told me…

11. That there is no need to rush a decision. I could make the decision in my own time frame, not theirs.

12. That the adoption decision does not have to... more

I got a little help from my friends on this one. These are some of the top things that we as birthmothers feel that adoption professionals forget to tell you while pregnant and making an adoption plan. Thanks to my friends who helped out with this post!

We wish adoption professionals had told us…

That open adoptions are not legally binding or enforceable. It really is dependent on whether or not the family you have chosen is trust worthy or not, which is often hard to detect in just a few months time. Legally they... more

While surfing the net recently, I came across a page on Adoption.com’s crisis pregnancy area. The page is a list of questions compiled by different birthmothers. They did not ask these questions while pregnant and making an adoption plan, but in hindsight wish they had. It’s a pretty good list and one I feel is worth sharing with you, as you may want to ask some of these questions yourself. Asking them may lessen the “what if” scenarios... more

Another installment of the What You Wish you had Known series where my birthmother friends recount the things they wish they had known about adoption before placing their children for adoption. To read the other posts in this series, see the links at the bottom.

N became a birthmom in a semi open adoption in 2000.

”I wish I would have known that having other children may not have been possible and that the baby I placed could have been my last. I wish I would have known that time doesn’t heal the... more

You may be getting sick of my What You Wish You Would Have Known series but has it generated a lot of response. I received many comments, emails, and forum posts with many of your thoughts as to what you wish you had known prior to placing your child for adoption. Many of them sang the same tune over and over, just in different words. Many of the birthmothers wish they had known the lifelong grief they would experience as a result... more

In continuation from previous posts asking birthmothers the question, “What do you wish you would have known while you were going through the adoption process that you know now?”

Analiah placed two daughters in open adoptions in 2004 and 2005.

”I wish I would have found other birthmoms to talk to while I was pregnant and talk to people who already went through the adoption process .I wish I knew that... more

In continuance, from yesterday’s post, I recently I asked a group of birthmothers the question, “What do you wish you had known during your pregnancy and the adoption process that you now know as a birthmother?”

Melissa placed her son in a semi-open adoption in May of 2006.

” I wish I would have known how much it hurts. And how un-easy it is to get back to normal”

Leigh... more

Recently I asked a group of birthmothers the question, “What do you wish you had known during your pregnancy and the adoption process that you now know as a birthmother?”

The answers are interesting and some vary from birthmother to birthmother while others have the same overall gist. Some of the birthmoms are rather new and still in the throws of deep grief while others have had time to process their feelings, yet still feel the pain of loosing their motherhood. I find the answers of each person interesting and heartfelt.

This will... more