In a recent post in the Hoping to Adopt blog, Faith discusses the fact that in a few states (Alabama, Hawaii, and Washington State) expectant mothers can sign relinquishment papers terminating her parental rights before birth. Although it is legal in those states, it is not required and that is something that you as an expectant mother considering adoption should be aware of.

In Alabama, an expectant mother can sign... more

When I was recently browsing the unplanned pregnancy forums, I came across a thread about what questions are or are not appropriate for an expectant mother to be asking prospective adoptive parents that she is meeting with as she considers them to be parents for her baby. She also asked if the adoptive parents are unable to have children, is it ok for her to ask why.

My personal thoughts on this subject are yes, as an expectant mother making an adoption plan; you should... more

As an expectant mother considering adoption, you may be seeing some different terminology used as you are researching. Today, we’ll explore the differences in some of those.

Birthmother/Placing Mother You may be reading letters addressed “dear birthmother,” looking at areas on agency websites that say “for birthmothers,” and hear the word birthmother used in regards to you. It might all be a little confusing.

Are you a birthmother? No, not yet! And you may not become one at all if you do not follow through with an adoption plan.

Technically,... more

Adoption Terms and Lingo Part 1 Part 2 Home Studies Part 3 Relinquishment Part 4 Birthmother and It’s Many Variations

In Part... more

Adoption Terms and Lingo Part 1 Part 2 Home Studies Part 3 Relinquishment

You may be noticing a lot of “titles” in your research. Birthmother, First mother, Lifemother, Natural Mother, Biological Mother – What do they all mean? Why are their so many different titles? It can be a little confusing at first.

As mentioned in Part... more

Adoption Terms and Lingo Part 1 Part 2: Home Studies

Not too long ago, I wrote about relinquishment but feel it’s necessary to include it again in this series.

The definition of relinquishment is:

In the context of adoption, this term generally refers to a birthparent voluntarily giving up his or her parental rights to... more

Part 1

In your research on adoption, you probably have seen the words “home study approved” in various places. You may (like me before I entered the adoption world) wondering what the heck a home study is and what it entails.

The purpose of a home study is to educate and prepare the adoptive family for adoption, to gather information on the family, and to evaluate the fitness and readiness of a prospective couple to bring a child into their home and life.

A... more

If you are considering making an adoption plan for your unborn baby and doing your research and educating yourself on adoption issues, you are probably getting lost in all the lingo and terms. So I thought, it would be a good idea to do a little series on some of the different adoption terms and lingo that you may be coming across during your reading. Some of these things I may have previously written about, but it’s always good to re-read them or learn more about them and I know we are getting new readers all the time who may not have the time to go through the old posts.... more

Did you know that adoption law is state law? There is no set of federal guidelines for how relinquishments take place. The rules and procedures are different in every state.

In some states, the papers you sign will be irrevocable; in others, you will have a certain amount of time (ranging anywhere from a few days to a year, depending on the state) to change your mind and reclaim your child. In some places, papers can be put in front of you immediately after the birth, while you are in your hospital bed, possibly still medicated and “out of it.” Other states recognize the seriousness... more

It’s tricky when you’re reading all those letters addressing you as "Dear Birthmother," but one of the most important things to keep in mind while pregnant is that you are not a birthmother yet. Instead, you’re an expectant mom considering all your options. A birthmother is someone who has relinquished rights to her baby. You’re not there yet, so don’t call yourself something that you’re not—and don’t let others label you, either.

Why is it important not to think of yourself as a birthmom while pregnant? Because it puts you in the mental state of having already relinquished your child. You can’t make truly informed, conscious decisions for your baby if you’re already... more