If the father of your child does want to be involved during your pregnancy, how can you involve him in your pregnancy when you are the one doing all the hard work, ya know, carrying a baby and all?

Below are some ways that an involved expectant father can support you during your pregnancy. Most of these suggestions will work regardless of what decision you ultimately make regarding parenting or placing your baby.

He can help you out with any housekeeping duties around the house especially during your first and third trimesters of pregnancy, when fatigue... more

In my last post, I talked about birthfather involved. Since I did not have the involvement of Charlie’s birthfather in my own adoption experienced, I asked a fellow birthmother, Kim*, to share her story of how her daughter’s birthfather was positively involved during the pregnancy. Kim leaned on her boyfriend, Rick*, for support throughout her pregnancy and after relinquishment.

In early 2002, Kim and Rick were living together when Kim discovered that she was pregnant. Initially they were going to parent,... more

I don’t write a whole lot about expectant fathers being involved in the adoption process. “Why” you may be wondering…

A great deal of what I write here is either based on my personal experience from my own unplanned pregnancies or prompted by them. Since I did not have the involvement of Charlie’s birthfather during my pregnancy and the adoption process, I have no personal experience to go from.

When I found out I was pregnant (at nearly five months along) Charlie’s birthfather and I were no longer involved. When I told him I was pregnant, he was not very happy. He wanted... more

Depending on the relationship with your unborn baby’s father, the prospect of telling him that you are pregnant might be very scary.

Personally speaking, I was very nervous about telling Charlie’s biological father I was pregnant. We were no longer dating or even on speaking terms so I’m sure he knew that something was up when I called him up out of the blue and asked him to meet me at my apartment.

Before you tell him, if you have only taken a home pregnancy test, you may want to confirm with a doctor or health department that you are indeed... more

A lot of times women making adoption plans do not have the support of their child’s father or expectant fathers may be forgotten when it comes to planning and decision making regarding adoption, but they have rights too. In my experiences, I have seen more women make adoption plans that do not have the support of their children's fathers. However, I have seen some really awesome men support their partner as they made decisions together for their child's future.

Involved expectant fathers can share some of the weight of decision making with... more

One of the first things you need to do when you find out you’re pregnant is to share this news with the father of your baby.

It’s tempting to want to skip this part---especially if you were not in a relationship with the father, or if you are in a relationship, but things have turned sour. It’s also difficult, when you feel pretty certain that this man is not likely to offer you any support, emotional or financial, to turn to him and tell him you are carrying your mutual child. It can make you feel like you are begging.

Your pride may make you want to say, "I'll handle this myself---I don't need his help." You might think it will be easier on all concerned if he is not involved.

However,... more