In my last post, Things the Adoption Agency or Professionals Forgot to Tell You, your rights were mentioned more than once so I thought it would be a wise idea to post them so that you are completely aware of what your rights are.

Please note: You do not become a birthparent until you sign relinquishment papers signing over the rights of your child. Until then, you are still your child’s parent…

You have the right to:

Be treated with respect and dignity. Choose, meet, and ask questions of the adoptive parents to raise your... more

Now that you have a type of adoption in mind, you can begin to search for an agency if that is the route you choose.

Some tips in looking for an agency:

If you want an open adoption, you need to make sure that the agency handles open adoptions. Some agencies may claim to and in reality it is more of a semi open adoption. If you get a bad vibe from one agency or they don’t seem to offer exactly what you are looking for then try another agency! Begin by looking up adoption agencies in the local yellow... more

Now that we have explored the parenting option and I have provided you with some resources for parenting, let’s explore the adoption option. You’ve thought long and hard about it and you feel like adoption is going to be in the best interests of your baby and you are ready to move forward and begin making an adoption plan.

So, where do you start???

Well, I think one of the initial things you need to think about is what type of adoption you hope to have as that answer will dictate the agency or adoption professional you work with and ultimately... more

In Faith’s recent post in the Hoping to Adopt blog, she talked about how both adoptive parents and the expectant mother (or parents) that are making an adoption plan together need to try and lay out boundaries and ground rules before the baby is born. I totally agree and have conveyed this in previous posts such as Post Adoption Contact Agreements.

There is one... more

If you are pregnant and considering adoption, I have a little “what to expect” type list for you. I wasn’t prepared for all that goes into what being a birthmom is all about. This little list provides you with some of “What to Expect when you are Expecting to become a Birthmom.”

First off, never forget that you are a mother. People may call you a birtmother while you are still pregnant, but you are not. You do not become a birthmother until you actually sign those relinquishment papers. You are simply an expectant mother trying to make the best the... more

If you are considering making an adoption plan for your unborn baby, you may be considering open adoption with on going contact. In open adoptions you will actively participate in making one.

You will begin to think about openness and the amount of openness and contact you may want in an adoption plan. There’s a lot to think about!

When you are in the midst of making an adoption plan it can be overwhelming and your mind may skip over some of the details. An ethical adoption agency or adoption professional should go over all of this with you... more

We hear a lot in the media about untruthful birthmothers (as the media calls them) who most of the time are not even really pregnant but are just scamming prospective adoptive parents. But what we don’t hear about very often is the untruthful prospective adoptive parents, who may be so desperate to adopt a baby that they are dishonest or misrepresent themselves to expectant mothers considering adoption.

Granted, there are more couples hoping to adopt that are sincere, respectful, and honest, than not, but if you are considering adoption and looking for... more

Blogger’s Note: It is not my intent with this post to create a “pain game” amongst birthmothers of varying degrees of openness in their adoption situations. We all have pain and I recognize that and don’t think it is necessarily easier for one birthmother over the other. I do however, wish to analyze, how at times open adoption maybe portrayed as having little pain to expectant mothers considering adoption.

Have you noticed on agency websites, brochures, adoption websites, etc at times paint open adoption as a rosy picture? That it’s almost as if they are saying, “If you choose open adoption, you will have little or no pain.” That getting to see your child is a compensation... more

We all change and experience change in our lives, whether it be the weather, an aspect of our personality, a liking to a certain food, or more major things like marital status, moving to a new location, having more children, etc.

It’s important to remember when making an adoption plan that the circumstances and situations on which you based your reasoning for making an adoption plan in the first place are subject to change.

For example, you think it is necessary for your baby to grow up in a two parent home and that is one of the big reasons... more

(continued from previous post) Basically, birthparents in open adoptions are dependent upon the goodwill and continued commitment of the adoptive parents. In that sense, OA puts you in a highly subservient position, given that you must abide by the adoptive parents’ wishes, even if they don’t coincide with your own. At times, this can be one of the more uncomfortable parts of living out an open adoption.

Now, the adoptive parents in my audience may protest, because sometimes it does work the other way. I have talked to some very sad and bewildered... more