If you're experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you may be a little apprehensive about this holiday season. The holidays are notorious for family gatherings, running into old friends and general public meetings. How far along you are in your pregnancy will have an affect on how you might need to deal with people and their questions this season.

If you're just newly pregnant, you won't likely have to field questions in public places. Running into a friend at the mall won't present a requirement to explain the basketball under your coat if you still aren't... more

If you are already matched with a potential family for your baby or in the process of seeking out such a family, I have one very important bit of advice for you: Learn how to effectively communicate. Now. Trust me on this one!

Right now, you are just getting to know one another. You are trying to get a feel for their personalities, their character and whether or not you feel that they will be the best family to raise your child. You are probably tentative in your question asking and in how you reply to their questions of you. You are likely to shy away... more

I see expectant parents lament the agency with whom they are working all the time. I applaud their gusto and knowledge because I didn't even know enough to complain about mine while I was pregnant and working with them on the placement of my child. However, I continue to see an error in thought that I just wanted to clear up for those who happen upon this blog by chance or search.

You, as an expectant parent, are not bound to any one agency.

You have paid them no money. While you may have done things like sign papers allowing them to view your medical... more

While reading some posts in the Considering Your Options forum, I came across an interesting quote by an adoptive mother. I'll just throw it out here right off the bat:

I think if someone is on the road to adoption, through foster or privately, they have patience. I think that would be a given.

I... more

An expectant mother considering adoption recently asked me:

“I have recently chosen a couple that will become my baby’s adoptive parents. I still have about ten weeks of my pregnancy left and would like to spend time with the adoptive family getting to know them better however my parents think I shouldn’t. What are your thoughts on this?”

Once I had chosen S and A to be Charlie’s parents and we were moving forward with the adoption plan I, like you, wanted to spend a lot of time with them getting to know them better.

I had a few... more

If you are considering open adoption and are being vocal with this consideration or doing any research, you may see (if you are reading online) and hear from others various myths about open adoption. One of those common myths is that open adoption is comparable to co-parenting. I’ve even heard some people go as far as to say that open adoption is a glorified form of baby sitting or that open adoption is “having your cake and eating it too.”

First of all, let’s look at the definition for co=parenting. Co-parenting is defined as:

An arrangement in which... more

In my last post, I ranted about an adoption agency website that boasted their luxury living quarters complete with a swimming pool and twenty four hour state of the art exercise facility for expectant mothers making adoption plans.

On that same agency website was a page that listed the “possible benefits of adoption for birthmothers.” Some of them were basic “benefits” that I’d read before like the ability to continue your educate without juggling a child and... more

Are you searching for the perfect family for your child? Many times I have heard expectant mothers making adoption plans comment that they are searching for the perfect family to adopt their child. I have seen some mothers choose families pretty quickly as they find a family that meets what they are looking for easily while others may struggle, take a long time looking through profiles of prospective couples, interview and meet with multiple couples, and have a harder time finding a family that meets what they are looking for.

What constitutes a perfect family? Is... more

Are you considering an open adoption plan for your unborn baby? I remember when I first heard of open adoption. Charlie’s adoptive mother, A, was actually the person who explained open adoption to me. There was so much I didn’t know about open adoption and honestly, I’m still learning things about open adoption. We kind of figure it out as we go along.

I’ve been living in an open adoption for over six years now. We’ve done some things correctly and we’ve made our share of mistakes too. Over the years, I’ve also gotten to know other birthmothers and adoptive parents... more

Even though you are considering adoption, you still have the right to bring your baby home from the hospital. Some expectant mothers considering adoption may take their baby home from the hospital with the intent to parent. Some may be successful at parenting while others may decide once giving parenting a try that adoption is still the right decision for them. There are others still that may bring their baby home for an amount of time to have a little more time with their baby fully intending to place their child for adoption once they have spent more time with their baby outside... more