As adolescent girls, I’m sure many of us had diaries. I remember having a Hello Kitty one with a little lock on the side. I wasn’t very good at writing in it. I could never remember or figure out what to write about. But now journaling has become a way of life for me, a way to heal and work through major life events.

Journaling or writing down your thoughts on paper can be a very healing and healthy thing for anyone going through a stressful and emotional time. Journaling can also help you to see things differently once they are down on paper and you are re-reading... more

As you are educating yourself on adoption you may run across terms that you are unfamiliar with so today I thought we’d do a little “Adoption 101” and go over some of the terms you may not know the meanings of.

Adoption decree – Legal order that finalizes the adoption to the adoptive parents Birthparents, Birthmother, and Birthfather – Refers to the people who biologically created the child NOTE: There are also other terms that can be used to refer to a birthmother such as first mom or life mom. Birthmom just happens to be the one most commonly used. Also, you... more

Allow me to recommend a truly fantastic book for women in unplanned pregnancies.

It’s called Surprise Child: Finding Hope in Unexpected Pregnancy and it’s by Leslie Leyland Fields. Whether you consider yourself too young, too old, too poor, too sick, or too overburdened to welcome a child right now, or you have some other special circumstance (such as rape) that makes you doubt your ability to be a good mother, you will certainly find a story you can relate to in this book. It’s one of the few resources I’ve found that encourages women to look at an unplanned pregnancy... more

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers of every kind. On this holiday, I want to send my sincere good wishes to all the expectant mothers now going through an unplanned pregnancy. Please celebrate today, and do something nice for yourself. You are a mother, and always will be, no matter what your ultimate decision.

Today also seems like the right occasion to share a candid and inspirational story I came across. It's called "Parenting on a Dare: My Decision to Accept Teen Motherhood."... more

So, have you had your ultrasound yet? Have you seen your baby’s first picture or listened to his or her heartbeat? For many pregnant women, that’s the moment their baby becomes truly real to them. I encourage you to savor that prenatal appointment and to be sure to keep a copy of your baby’s ultrasound picture and/or video. It’s something you will always treasure.

Which reminds me: if you’re like most pregnant women, you are curious to know everything that’s happening with the baby growing and developing inside you. That’s why I wanted to pass along the news that the National Geographic... more

Recently I re-read a book that touched on what I wrote in my last two posts, about how parents of women in crisis pregnancies tend to view the baby as a “problem” at first, rather than as a family member.

The book is My Child is A Mother: A True and Happy Story of Open Adoption, by Mary Stephenson. Mary is the mother of Karen, who got pregnant at age 17. The book, written in 1991, chronicles the story of how the Stephenson family dealt with Karen’s crisis.

Karen realizes from the beginning that she cannot give her baby girl up without knowing where her daughter... more

Whooo-hoo!

A respected legal journal has addressed the issue of just how terrible most states' laws really are when it comes to obtaining surrender consents from brand new mothers. (Not sure what I'm talking about? Well, adoption laws are different in every state, and some states take advantage of relinquishing mothers by attempting to get their signatures as soon as possible after birth, and by making the rushed decision an irreversible one.)

Ethical states don't do it that way. Ethical state laws have the mother signing away her rights in a courtroom, not a hospital... more

I love books.

I have hundreds of them in my house, and I check out many more from the library every month.

So it makes sense that, as a birthmother and someone who wants to be informed about the perspectives of all triad members, I would have amassed quite a collection of adoption-related books. Some of them are classics, some are duds, and some are rare or out of print...but all of them contain at least a certain amount of worthwhile knowledge.

Below is a list of the adoption books I own. Obviously I don’t have space to review them all, but perhaps... more

To my list of movies that might be good for you to see, allow me to add Casa de los Babys. This independent film tells the story of six American women who travel to an unnamed Latin American country in order to adopt babies. The women must live there until the adoptions are approved and finalized.

As with any group of humans, the characters represent a mixed bag. Some of these mothers-to-be are good people, while others are downright horrible. (A few of the women are your stereotypical “clueless Americans,” and to varying degrees, they all struggle with the clash... more

I read two particularly thought-provoking posts today.

One was from the excellent blog, Twice the Rice, in which a woman adopted from Korea discusses her visit to a Korean maternity home. Her account of the gut-wrenching visit, entitled “Juice & Cookies With A Birth Mom,” perfectly captures a scenario that plays out all around the world: the pressures (subtle and not-so-subtle) put on vulnerable women to give up their children for adoption…usually from agencies or... more