All the planning in the world can not prepare you for some of the unexpected “surprises” or problems that may pop up during pregnancy, whether it is an unplanned pregnancy or one that was planned for awhile. Each day, women regardless of their circumstances in life are faced with unexpected situations that occur during pregnancy or once their child is born.

During your pregnancy, you could find out that your child has a special need, a disability, or a medical condition. An example being downs syndrome or perhaps a liver problem or heart problem.... more

Just when I think I’ve heard it all, people surprise me! Two different adoption related instances I came across online today outraged me!

Outrageous Incident Number 1 In the private forums at BirthMom Buds someone recently posted about something that happened with a friend of hers. Let me share a portion of that post.

A girlfriend of mine had a baby about a month ago. She's single, but she decided that she was going to parent the baby and that was her choice. Cool, right?... more

You may have figured out by now that I love music. I have been singing ever since I could talk and it’s always been such a great form of expression for me. I studied music, both privately and in school, in high school and college.

To do this day, I can hear a song and fall in love with it and it means something to me. I will sing the song when I’m feeling whatever mood the song is associated with. For example, the song Held by Natalie Grant was a great source of comfort to be after my first miscarriage. I would sing this song at the top of my lungs... more

I have been helping a new birthmother (who we will call M.) plan an entrustment ceremony. As I’ve said before, entrustment ceremonies are not for everyone. For some they may seem a bit hokey or something that would be too emotional, but for M. partaking in this ceremony was very special to her and the adoptive family as well. It would be video taped so she knew that one day her child would be able to watch it. I’ve written about entrustment ceremonies before, but will briefly define them again in case you have not read that... more

First of all, happy October everyone!

I am sure you are all aware that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It might not be crisis pregnancy related, but it is an issue for all women (and men) to be aware of, so I must do my little part.

Until a few years ago, I knew very little about breast cancer myself. I was in my twenties and invincible – I didn’t need to worry about breast cancer. Then I watched a friend battle this disease. I watched her from a far, I wasn’t close enough to be a part of her every day life, but as I listened... more

I was reading something a friend wrote today and was reminded me of this song, Find Your Wings, by Christian singer Mark Harris. He co-wrote this song for his own children and as a birthmother and a mother this song touches my heart. I think any mother probably has the same type of prayer for her own children.

Find Your Wings by Mark Harris

It's only for a moment, that you are mine to hold The plans that heaven has for you, will all too soon... more

We briefly touched on what open adoption is in the Types of Adoption Post from Friday. Since open adoption is so widespread currently, I feel like we should spend some time on it, so I'll do a short series on it. Not everyone has the same definition of open adoption and not all parties involved in an open adoption may want the same thing as another group of triad members involved in an open adoption. Open adoptions have to be tailored made to fit each... more

My big “3-oh” (thirtieth) birthday is next month. My hubby and parents are choosing to celebrate the occasion by throwing me a big 80’s party since the majority of my childhood and growing up was in the 80’s. The party will be decked out with 80’s décor, music, and the guests are even encouraged to dust off their 80’s threads and show up in authentic duds.

For my part, I have been making a list of my favorite songs from the 80’s era which will then be compiled onto a CD of “Coley’s favorite 80’s songs” which will be a favor for my guests.

In... more

It’s hot, hot, hot!

Thought I’d interrupt my interfamily adoption series thanks to the heat. It’s almost too hot to blog! Here in the south, with the heat index, we are reaching record temperatures that are feeling between 100-106! Yikes! Thank goodness for air conditioners! But some of the poor people in my town suffered a power outage today due to a power surge from all the over use lately. Luckily, I wasn’t among them. I can’t imagine not having power in this heat.

So, I thought I’d share my top 10 ways to beat the heat! Remember,... more

In the adoption community or reading across the adoption forums, you may notice different names for birthmothers – women who placed their children for adoption. It can all be a little confusing at times. In the forums, birthmothers can be very adamant about what name they prefer to use. I’m not talking about what their child calls them, but the name in which society refers to them.

Just plain old “Mom” would be great but that would probably be confusing so that brings us to the other terms you might hear. Birthmom, First Mom, Life Mom, and Natural Mother. I think that’s... more