Crisis Pregnancy

An article published recently lets us know that most of our eggs are used up by the time we hit 30. What does that mean? It means that if you wait to try and conceive until after that age, or later, you may have difficulty, need intervention or be unsuccessful. Of course, if you're reading this blog and under the age of 30, you're likely thinking, "Well, this article doesn't apply to me now and certainly won't matter in my life." Not so fast and not so true. In working with the agency through which I placed, I was told, time and time again, that I could go on to have babies later in life, when the time was right. What no one… [more]

If you pay any attention to television shows, the news, books, magazines or anything the media has to offer, adoption comes up now and again. If you have no previous experience with the subject of adoption and are now considering relinquishment, it may be hard for you to decide what to believe about adoption from the different ways that they media portrays it. Movies like Juno make it seem like an easy decision. News stories make adoption seem like it's always a kidnapping gone wrong type of story, where birth parents steal babies back or adoptive parents abuse their children. Books, fictional and factual, present one-sided views of the topic, leaving you confused as to whether adoption is good or evil. In… [more]

If you are considering relinquishment and have matched with a potential adoptive family, chances are that the subject of their presence in the delivery room has come up. Either by the agency's prodding or by their asking, you have been made to think about whether or not you want them to be present as you give birth. It's a touchy subject, one that I can truly see both sides of the coin. So what are those sides? Those that are strongly opposed to the idea of the potential adoptive parents being present in the delivery room are concerned about the (birth) mother's rights and her ability to bond with her baby. It is true that when potential adoptive parents are present in… [more]

Over the years I've found that many mothers who relinquished went into their adoption planning period hoping to find a parent who would be able to stay home with their child. The reasons varied from wanting to make sure that the child had enough attention to coming from a home that didn't offer a stay-at-home parent to just about any other personal reason. In my opinion, most of those reasons can be traced back to another, sometimes unspoken desire: financial stability. The world assumes that when one parent stays home, the family is financially stable enough on one income. Sometimes this is true. Sometimes it is not so true. I can see, however, especially if an expectant mother considering placement has… [more]

I watched a Lifetime movie premiere the other night. Stay with me. The movie was titled The Pregnancy Pact. Stay with me. Loosely based on the 2008 real life story out of Gloucester, Massachusettsthe movie takes a historical fiction look at what might have gone on with the group of teen girls that promised each other that they would get pregnant and carry their babies together while still in high school. The movie itself had some typical teen pregnancy movie cliches. One mother found out that her daughter was pregnant because the daughter threw up. She just magically knew! Other cliches included one girl being the daughter of another teen mother (making the original mother a grandma at 31), a few smoked and drank while pregnant, and… [more]

I've been following the story of missing eight-month-old Gabriel Johnson. It seems to be a complete mess and a heartbreaking one at that. This isn't just the story of a missing baby. This is the story of a potential abandonment and/or a way to get past a father's rights to his child, possible unethical adoption and just a general negative portrayal of birth mothers (and adoption in general) in the media. Great. In short, the baby's mother, Elizabeth Johnson, was supposed to appear for a custody case involving the baby's father, Logan McQueary. She did not. She sent a text message to Logan stating that she killed the baby. However, she told a Phoenix TV station that she "gave the baby away" in… [more]

That's right, my pregnant readers. Tonight is New Year's Eve. Not only will there be a full moon tonight but it is a blue moon! In case you don't know, a blue moon is the second full moon in a calendar month. This is the first time in 19 years that a Blue Moon has fallen on New Year's Eve. So what's that have to do with pregnancy? And why the beware? There's an old wives' tale that more babies are born on a full moon that any other time during a month. Some people really try to discount it. I can tell you that all three of my babies were born the day before, the day of or the day after… [more]

With New Year's Eve tomorrow, you may be feeling a strong sense of loneliness. Perhaps your friends are all planning a big party that you don't feel up to or comfortable attending while pregnant. Maybe you're missing family members who aren't being supportive of your pregnancy. If you're currently separated from your baby's biological father, you may be missing him as well. New Year's Eve is a tough time to be alone. It's even more difficult while pregnant. In fact, loneliness during pregnancy isn't just limited to those who are experiencing unplanned pregnancies. Many expectant mothers suddenly find themselves missing their friends and acquaintances after the Big News has been shared with others. They can feel shut off by those who don't know… [more]

I've given you a list of goals if parenting is your long-term pregnancy goal for 2010. Now it's time to talk adoption. Please know that I intend for you to compare and contrast your lists after you have made them and considered them thoroughly. One list is really not complete without the other. Remember that as I give you a list of things you need to do if placement is on your list of possibilities for 2010. One thing about adoption is that it is not something you should consider, at all, without thorough research. And I mean thorough. Relying on what an agency or attorney tells you is simply not thorough enough. As such, the first few things on… [more]

As I said in my previous post, ringing in the New Year while pregnant can be a bit difficult. I encouraged you, however, to make 2010 your Best Year Ever! As you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and reading this blog, you are likely facing the decision whether to parent or place your baby for adoption. Making that decision is difficult and one that requires a lot of research and introspection. I encourage you to use this post and tomorrow's post to make goals in both directions, parenting and placement. After you make your list of goals, you can compare and contrast your lists and make a better decision as to which path may be best suited for you… [more]