Crisis Pregnancy

Depending on how your baby's father reacted to the news of your shared pregnancy, you may or may not be looking forward to broaching the subject of adoption. If you have been researching the topic on your own, you will eventually have to have another one of "Those Discussions." They feel big and scary. The uncertainty of his response might have you dragging your feet. Most of the fear, however, is the unknown. Once you tell him and receive his reaction, you can plan accordingly. As such, you should tell him about your thoughts on adoption as soon as you can muster the courage. The reality of the situation is that your baby's father has rights. As you have decided at… [more]

Chances are that as you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and some life-altering decisions, you may also be facing a little bit of loneliness. Quite possibly you may be facing a lot of loneliness. Add in the constant flux of hormones and you may find yourself feeling as though you're the only person in the world going through any of this craziness. If you are a teenager or a woman in your early twenties, you may have found that your pregnancy announcement was not met with balloons, flowers or cards by your closest of friends. Some of them may have told you congratulations (though none of mine did) and been excited at the prospect of a baby. However, as your belly begins… [more]

I knew that my situation wasn't what society deemed the normal progression for welcoming a baby into the world. However, I was completely unprepared for the utter lack of excitement when I made my announcement. I was met with disbelief, anger, judgment, laughter, pity and a number of other negative reactions. Part of me wasn't surprised. I wasn't married. I was in one of those post-college, temporary-at-best type jobs. I had a long list of things working against me (and that was before I got sick). The other part of me wondered why not one person offered a simply congratulations. I understand the disappointment but my family was always one who touted the "babies are always a blessing line," as were other people that I associated with at… [more]

The season finale of The Secret Life of the American Teenager reportedly featured yet another unplanned pregnancy. Apparently two of the characters decided to have sex to get back at their exes. Bad idea number one. Then the writers decided to throw abortion into the conversation mix. Potential bad idea number two? The character in question is quoted as saying, "I’m not having a baby and ruining my life like Amy." Wow. That's a pretty harsh statement. Apparently coming off as another anti-Juno, hoping to de-glam the idea of teenage pregnancy, the show has tackled this topic before which I covered. Adoption was discussed before and now we're apparently going to see the dramatics of the decision to abort or not. In a review from Entertainment

A lawsuit in Maryland has me scratching my head. The Archdiocese of Baltimore is suing the city over a new law that they say is "targeting" pregnancy centers that help women find abortion alternatives. Basically, the new law requires such pregnancy centers to post a sign that states that they do not provide abortions. If they do not post said sign, they can be charged up to $150 per day that the sign is not posted. And I'm left saying, "So? Post the sign." I visited a faith-based pregnancy center when I was pregnant with the Munchkin. I knew that they weren't going to give me information on how to obtain an abortion. I knew that they weren't going to perform an abortion… [more]

When talking about the subjects of adoption , abortion and single parenting, I am always amused to see the two different camps of thought. Some who have placed their babies for adoption state that one of the reasons (in a list of many) that they chose relinquishment was the stigma that is attached to single parenting. While discussing the topic of abortion and adoption with a group of adults untouched by the actual issues, they stated that the stigma of single parenting died a long time ago. So which is it? It depends, really. On many things! Where you live, the age of your own parents, religious views and, of course, your own age all come into play as to whether you're… [more]

As you know, the new Health Care Bill passed last night. Twitter, Facebook and the blogosphere exploded with emotion, good and bad. Words were slung back and forth and feelings were hurt. Now that everyone has had a night to sleep on it, my mind wandered to my readers here at the unplanned pregnancy blog. How does this affect you? How does this affect your child yet to be born? It's hard to tell. Those opposed to the bill are already screaming for an appeal. It's also hard to tell how quickly these things will be put into play (though some sections call for 180 days after being passed) and whether they will see the light of day while you are pregnant and making decisions. As an example, if… [more]

Sometimes agencies get a bad reputation. Some of them come by it of their own accord and others simply get swept into the same unfortunate category thanks to the unethical practices of their cohorts. The truth is that there are some great agencies out there who do work very hard to provide a good experience for expectant parents and adoptive parents alike. I wish all agencies would open their eyes and realize how much potential for good they have at their fingertips. They have the ability to provide you with everything you need in one quick stop. Some fall short, however, leaving you under-represented legally or under-counseled emotionally. Good agencies do the following things: Provide you with a wide array of potential families from which to choose. They won't limit the number from… [more]

As you continue to consider an adoption plan, different topics come up as to what you are looking for in a family for your child. For many, religion or the lack thereof happens to be a key factor in the final decision. It's interesting to me that religion plays such a key role considering the fluctuation that can exist in a person's or family's belief system. Some expectant parents want their child to be raised in a family that subscribes to their beliefs. They want their child to attend the same kind of church that they attended while growing up. Some get as specific as to require the same denomination. Similarly, some expectant parents are seeking parents who identify as atheist or agnostic… [more]

A reader emailed me and asked why open adoptions were "illegal in some states." I thought this would be a good time to disspell that rumor and clear up confusion on the matter. Here's the truth: open adoption is never illegal. The confusion comes in when you factor in the point that open adoption agreements are not legally binding in all states. Confusing, isn't it? Let's break it down. I'll reiterate: open adoptions are not illegal. No state has a law, rule, ammendment or other such legal mumbo-jumbo that makes open adoptions against the law. No matter where you live, you have a right to request and follow through with an open adoption plan. What that means, of course, is up to you… [more]